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Thursday, December 04, 2008

Anyone seen my spine?

After several months and not a single tear, I've decided it's time to break up with my therapist once and for all. The problem is my lack of spine. See, I decided last night was our last session but I didn't actually mention that to her. I went ahead and scheduled my next appointment, put the little card in my purse and told her I'd see her in two weeks.

Maybe my expectations were wrongly based on "Hollywood" therapy. Crying and hypnosis and progress. Because what I got was small talk, shopping tips, grocery recommendations, and compliments about my hair/purse/coat/sweater/shoes. Oh, and a lot of stories about her cat.

As much as I was hesitant to the idea of therapy in the beginning, I do feel I gave it a fair try. Last night was our tenth session. Twice, she has had "epiphanies" about the deeper cause of my anxiety issues but there was never any follow-up. The next appointment, I would arrive and we'd start from scratch. She takes notes but apparently never looks at them or compares them against previous sessions. It's as if each appointment exists in a vacuum.

Anyways, I think I'll probably end up dumping her over the phone. First, I'll postpone our next "date" until after the holidays. Then, I'll kinda realize I don't need her anymore and just never call again. Finally, if she contacts me, I'll tell her "it's not you, it's me!". As in, you're wonderful, I'm cured! Thanks, have a nice life! She's a bad therapist and I guess I'm a bad girlfriend.

Yeah, I'm a wimp. But at least I'm not breaking it off over text or email. Hmm, I wonder if she has an email address listed on her website...


The Tildy Spot said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog! I absolutely love your writing. I don't know what your issues are, but maybe a different therapist would help. This woman sounds like she's charging you to be her friend for an hour. Unacceptable. Be strong. Take the bull by the horns, and tell her that she's not working for you. Sounds like she's more into you than you are her. :)

Call Me Cate said...

General anxiety, agoraphoraphobia, claustrophobia... A guaranteed spaz atack when we travel (think good thoughts this Sunday!). Yes, this woman is not helping. I think she needs therapy more than I do.

Thanks for commenting. :)

Lyndsay said...

From someone who has suffered from OUTRAGEOUS anxiety since 1997, I feel qualified to say ... find a new therapist!

Call Me Cate said...

Wow, check me out with "agoraphoraphobia". Apparently I'm not afraid to make up words.

Lyndsay - Medication seems to be making a big difference for me at the moment. It wasn't my ideal solution but my primary care doc and I discussed it at length. But at this point, I definitely need to be done with this therapist. I might try to find a new one after the first of the year depending on how I'm doing. I hope you've found some relief - anxiety's no fun.