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Sunday, December 07, 2008

John "Doom & Gloom" Tesh

Tonight, Joe and were able to enjoy a really beautiful holiday display complete with a choir singing carols and hot cocoa afterward. To keep the Christmas spirit flowing (since I've had such a rough time finding it at all this year), I scanned the radio for a station playing Christmas music.

I settled on a station playing an instrumental version of Carol of the Bells. Then, John Tesh shares with us some "intelligence". About how the current economic struggles are even affecting how we die. Average funerals cost $7k but you can DIY with some dry ice and a sturdy box for only about $1k.

He then plays some Rudolph. You know, the inspirational "you can do it" reindeer. At the next opportunity, he tells us about how some parents are being forced to choose between paying for housing/utilities/food and paying for childcare. He warned against settling for subpar childcare and said not to lock your kid in the car all day with a sandwich because you might get arrested like this other woman.

Then, falalalala, Deck the Halls, to be jolly. "Not to bum you out but I was at the mall last night and there was a kid with a cold. He was pushing the elevator buttons with his runny nose. So, like I said, not to bum you out. But I'm just sharing."

I kid you not. I may have remembered the actual songs incorrectly and I'm paraphrasing because my memory sucks, but Joe can vouch for me that the above is not in any way an exaggeration.

Merry Christmas from John Tesh, whose "Intelligence For Your Life" radio show made me want to end my life (I'm changing my will immediately to request a DIY funeral). Nobody's gonna mistake him for Santa, that's for sure!

4 comments:

angi_b72 said...

Nothing liek brining you up and down!! Did you fel liek you were on a roller coaster?

Lyndsay said...

It's probably not appropriate to be laughing at such struggles, but the delivery is almost comedic. I mean, how much more inappropriate can you get?

The Tildy Spot said...

Lyndsay, I lauged too. The juxtaposition was just too good. And Cate, your account of this experience was perfect. Great writing.

Call Me Cate said...

On the drive home tonight, we were looking for Christmas music again but certainly not Mr. Tesh. It just seemed like he was completely oblivious to the tone of the music compared to his "intelligence". "The world is going to end in a ball of fire tomorrow - here's some Chipmunks!"