STARTING 4/8/17: Six Word Saturday is now being hosted by the lovely Debbie at Travel With Intent. If you aren't already following Debbie, please visit her blog for Six Word Saturday and her beautiful photos. I'll continue to participate from time to time but please go to Debbie's for the official posts.

If you aren't receiving email replies to your comments, please see this post.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

A smallish victory

I went away this weekend without a single anxiety attack - I ate meals, slept through the night, and had a good time.

I'm guessing there aren't many people who can fully appreciate the weight of that statement. Unless you or a loved one suffer the kind of anxiety I do, going away overnight hardly seems like a victory. But for me, it was a major accomplishment.

Joe loves to travel. Every time he has a free day, he wants to be on the road exploring and experiencing something new. One of the things that initially brought us together was that we were both from a sheltered hick town and wanted to explore the world. He had the courage I lacked to venture out and took great joy at showing me new things.

All my life I've had great anxiety when a trip was pending. Countless times I had to cancel last minute. As far back as kindergarten I can remember being sick on field trips and I went nowhere without a barf bag. It continued through high school but by the time I reached college (and met Joe), it seemed I had grown out of these attacks.

We traveled a lot. By car, by plane, even by boat. We drove two hours for pizza and flew eight hours to Paris. We saw London Bridge and Santana and skied and played putt-putt.

But then something changed. Over the past few years, I began to re-experience horrible anxiety whenever we traveled. Sometimes it started before we left, other times I was fine until we were on the way. Recently, it had become crippling. I couldn't even leave the house for a casual meal without becoming horribly sick. Anything outside of my routine threw me into a tailspin.

So finally we're back to my original point. I sought help from a couple of sources. Day-to-day seemed to be improving. We went out for a few meals and I managed to work my way through those. And this weekend, I went away on a lovely overnight trip with my husband and had a great time. It gives me hope that better days are ahead.


angi_b72 said...

Great job! I am glad you were able to enjoy yourself!

Call Me Cate said...

Thanks. I'm learning to take my wins where I can get them.

The Tildy Spot said...

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!

Call Me Cate said...

All we can do is one day at a time, huh? Today is almost over. Woohoo!