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Monday, December 29, 2008

SWYMM: I fail at words

Say What You Mean Mondays - actual quotes from actual people. People who often have at least one foot in their mouth.

In this very special edition of SWYMM, I'm the one with my foot in my mouth. I have a knack for saying stupid things that make no sense and here are a few recent goodies.

"Here, please drive my purse home" To Joe, at my boss's house warming party.

"Just remember that when you're taking antibiotics, your birth control pills aren't reliable in preventing pregnancy." Said to my (male) boss.

"No, drop me off at the door. I totally deserve to be chaperoned." Sadly, this was in a car full of co-workers and I meant "chauffeured". And my coworkers all agreed that "chaperoned" was a safer choice for me.

"Those are the biggest balls I've ever seen!" In front of our uber-religious friend, referring to a sculpture of Christmas balls in NYC.
SomeMonkey: man, you're all sorts of commenty
me: i'm... in the christmas spirit?
pretending i'm in the christmas spirit?
spreading peace love and happiness to all the world
or maybe delirious because i'm freakin starved
SomeMonkey: okay, i'll try again.
your BLOG is commenty.
me: oh, haha
vs complimentary
i get it!
With the exception of the purse incident, these things were all said when I was sober and migraine-free. I should not be allowed to speak in public.


MuseSwings said...

Just keep talking and write the stuff down. It makes for a commenty blog. And a funny one too.

andrea said... the Christmas balls. At work, our thing is people's "boxes". Referring, of course, to mailboxes...but it doesn't stop a bunch of grown adults giggling like a bunch of schoolyard kids.

Call Me Cate said...

MuseSwings - if only I could remember the things I repeatedly say when I'm suffering a migraine, it would be SO very commenty.

Andrea - the guys I work with get a big kick out of "I've got a package for Cate!". Especially since they think the UPS guy likes me a wee bit. It truly was innocent when I commented about the balls though - they were really big!!!

A. said...

That is hilarious! I love foot-in-mouth moments! I especially love to read about other people's foot-in-mouth moments, where my own feet are nowhere near my mouth (for once)... Thanks for the laugh!

The Wife O Riley said...

I once told my husband "Grab your balls, we're going bowling."

Call Me Cate said...

A - my foot is in my mouth so much. It's unnatural, really. But I'll take one for the team and you can all laugh at my expense. I'm seriously going to follow-up with "SWYMM: Anesthesia Edition". At least then I can blame the drugs.

Wife O Riley - it's a good thing we don't bowl. I'd be in SO much trouble.

Lyndsay said...

Ah, yes, this is the eqivalent of starting to call Craig's dad's NEW wife by his EX-WIFE'S name on Sunday, right?

Call Me Cate said...

Lyndsay - I totally did that once, only it was at dinner before prom. "Jim, please pass the salt". Only, I was there with Shawn. And Shawn and Jim were bitter enemies. Oh, so awkward. That would make a story some day. I'll put it on a list.

PS my own blog won't allow me to post comments. word verification HATES me.

SisterFriend said...

The one you said to your boss was CLASSIC!!!!!

Call Me Cate said...

He didn't really know hot to respond either. He just told me he'd keep that in mind. Oops.

Nicole O'Dell said...

HAHA too funny!

Visiting from SITS

Call Me Cate said...

Nicole - Thanks for stopping by! I look forward to checking out your neck of the woods as well!