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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Migraine mumbles

Wow, I'm glad I thought twice about that. Last night, at the height of my migraine (and doctor-prescribed narcotics) I wrote a blog that I was going to set up to publish at the wee hours of the morning. Instead, I saved the draft, which I have just now reviewed.

Eek.

My judgment and filter both seem to switch to the off position when I'm in that state. I'll see if I can save any of it to give you an idea how bad my brain misfires. I like to refer to this as my migraine mumbles. Pretty much you can't hold me accountable for anything I may or may not say in this condition.

(This is directly from last night so you can see me in action)

For example, I stopped at the store on the way home, even though my head was throbbing and I couldn't see and it was raining and I just didn't want to, because I need to make a second batch of Fat Ass Soup because Joe ate through the first batch like he was starving or something. Except this wasn't my usual grocery store so I couldn't find the celery I wanted. I sought help, which went something like this:

me: I need help.
Grocery store dude: What can I help you find, ma'am? (urgh, "ma'am")
me: I need, umm, the stuff I get with chicken wings.
dude: Ranch dressing? (stupid Southerners with their Ranch dressing. Blue cheese!!!)
me: No, the green veggies I get with my chicken wings. You know... (I make hand gestures indicating the basic dimensions of celery)
dude: Celery? Celery is right over here.
He takes me to the bags of celery, which is not what I want.
me: No, I need them, you know, like with my wings. Chunky. (more hand gestures)
dude: Huh? Do you mean cut up?
me: Yeah.
dude: We don't have any pre-cut.
me: I guess I'll have to go somewhere else.
dude: You know you can buy it in the bag and cut it yourself?

And, honestly, the idea had not occurred to me, such was my mental state. Maybe he shouldn't have suggested me handling sharp objects. It's possible that he was considering calling the cops as well because I'm pretty sure he followed me around until I left to make sure I didn't do something I shouldn't. Like squeeze the Charmin.

Also, driving home tonight I almost got pushed out of my lane dented killed by a child molester van. You know, the big boxy ones, usually with the weird circular windows on the side? Sometimes they have curtains to hide the bad things they do. This is what my mother told me growing up so I wouldn't go anywhere with strangers. Anyways, it was in the turning lane and I was in the go straight lane and it decided to go straight too. So I got to use my horn, which is awesome. Other than the almost dying. Driving after dark (night blindness) in the rain with a migraine is pretty much the worst possible conditions for me and everyone nearby.

I'd like to grab an ice pack and go to sleep except I'm waiting on some chick to come pick up our hockey tickets for tonight which I had to give away for free because nobody was willing to pay for them and we can't go due to Joe's work stuff. Which I'd be mad about except that a crowded arena seems like a dumb idea with a migraine anyways. It just occurred to me that I give lousy directions under the best of conditions. This chick is never going to find our house. Hope I didn't also wrong-number her. :(

(End of migraine mumbles)

I really shouldn't be allowed to interact with others in that state. I then came home and Tweeted: "Better than my experience in the grocery store later. I was afraid they were going to have me escorted out for being high. :(" I tend to do that. Hot when I mean cold, later when I mean earlier.

This morning I woke up feeling better but not completely over it. The good news is that I'm working from home which means much less people and environmental stress. Let's hope (for everyone's sake) that this goes away soon.

P.S. To my amazement, the lady DID find our house to pick up the tickets. And our team won so I hope she had a good time.

17 comments:

Ryan Ashley Scott@Opitimistic Cyicism said...

I am laughing so hard at the celery bit. And the rest of it, for that matter - except your migraine, which I hope is getting better by the minute.

beckiwithani said...

I always forget words when I have a migraine. And for pretty much the rest of the day afterwards. Yesterday, it was cabbage. I was saying to my husband, "You know, we could put that vegetable in it. The round one. You know, it's green. And you make sauerkraut out of it." I could remember "sauerkraut," but not "cabbage."

Fun fact: The medical name for that tip-of-the-tongue, can't-remember-the-word feeling is "dysnomia."

Call Me Cate said...

Ryan Ashley - Joe's lucky he's learned to at least hide his laughter until I pass out from the meds. :)

Becki - Dysnomia, huh? I suffer from a bit of it under normal circumstances but it definitely sounds better than "I talk dumb". Hope you're feeling better today.

A. said...

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better today, and hopefully the migraine left-overs will disappear quickly!
Seems like you-with-migraines is like me normally, since I suffer from severe dysnomia (thanks Becki - that really does sound a lot better than "I talk dumb") even under the best conditions.

Lyndsay said...

Please don't tell me it's wrong to be laughing. I'm just so happy you shared the celery mishap with us.

Oh and the van bit? I totally refer to them as the rapist vans, especially the ones with NO windows ...

andrea said...

Dude, is it wrong that I can't tell the difference between your migraine mumbles and your regular talk? Does that mean I understand your crazy better than others? Or is it that you always talk like that? I prefer to believe that I can just "pick up what you're putting down". We are such kindred spirits. Except for the fact that we have never spoken out loud or seen each other in person. Just that part, though. Those must be some good narc's to make you mix up time like that;) Or maybe it's your soup.

Call Me Cate said...

A - I have certain words I just cannot come with no matter what. But with the migraine, it bumps up a notch. Then I add the meds and it's even worse. So frustrating.

Lyndsay - I just hate those vans. Nothing good can come of them. It even made me a little afraid of the Mystery Machine.

Andrea - I totally want to blame the soup. For a lot of things. I wrote a whole book last night and removed some of the crazier stuff. The longer I rambled, the less sense I made.

The Blonde Duck said...

Hi from a fellow SITSta! I hope you feel better!

Call Me Cate said...

Thanks Blonde Duck!

Almost nap time.

Small House said...

Hey thanks for stopping by today at my blog. Loved reading your blog And hey, I have anxiety too! Really, only cool people have anxiety. Or maybe it's crazy people. I don't know, it's starts with a c though. Nice to meet you, and to have so much in commen!!

The Wife O Riley said...

Cut the celery yourself??!!!! What are we Barbarians??

Glad you're feeling better, I know how those migraines can be!

Call Me Cate said...

Small House - it's the crazy cool people with anxiety. We're a special club. Nice to meet another member.

Wife O Riley - i KNOW! Cut my own celery? I'm not allowed to have sharp objects. Or fire.

Grand Pooba said...

seriously, I don't even own a knife.

andrea said...

Dear Small House...welcome. We are all sisters of messed up-ed-ness. But I'm starting to feel like WE'RE the normal ones.

And Cate, I hope you liked my reference link to you and your "crazy celery gesturing thing" today on my post. Perhaps the narcotics and fat-ass soup are making things a little fuzzy still.

Love ya:)

Call Me Cate said...

Grand Pooba - Joe always offers to make dinner when I have a migraine. I thought he was being sweet until I realized it was just safer that way.

Andrea - wow, I totally read your blog. Even commented on it. And I was too drugged out to even get it. Geez. I just went back and laughed. I'm that person!

tara @ kidz said...

Oh my the grocery store bit had me rolling. The other day I asked where the Ricotta cheese was. Don't even get me started. It was ugly, the girl asked, "You mean cottage cheese?" about fifteen times, as if I were the stupid one. Oh my.

Call Me Cate said...

Tara - I'm think it was a butternut squash that I bought once and the cashier was all amazed. "What is this? I've never seen one of these before!!!" At least cottage cheese should've put you in the right general area.