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Friday, February 20, 2009

Can't touch this

I keep trying to post about my family, as promised. But I can't seem to do it without writing an entire novel that's boring and whiny and noone cares. Don't worry, plenty of time for me to work that out.

Instead, I pose a question. For Valentine's Day, one of the gifts I bought Joe was "Couple's Table Topics Game". It's a tiny box of cards with topics to discuss with your partner. A silly little thing but kinda fun.

The first question is "What one possession of your partner's would you most like to dispose of?". (Another question, by the way, is "What do you miss most about being single?". I'm thinking this product is sponsored by divorce lawyers.)

I didn't hesitate with my answer. The one possession of his I'd get rid of is long gone. Back before we were even married, he was working while I packed his dorm room to move from one building to another. This was the perfect opportunity for me to trash his orange, zebra-striped MC Hammer pants.

Oh, do NOT think I'm kidding about this. Also, the year was 1997. Not 1990. Also, no, he never wore them out in public during the time I knew him (1995). But I was terrified that for some reason he might, which is why they had to go. And go they did.

Joe followed suit with the clothing answer, saying he hated a pair of his blue plaid boxer shorts - that I wear for pajamas. I thought men liked it when we wear their boxers as shorts? No? He hasn't worn this particular pair in at least a decade so I guess I've been annoying him for ten years in an extra bonus way I didn't even know about? Awesome. Oh no, the horror!

So after dinner that night, I went upstairs and handed Joe the boxers in question. He didn't just toss them in the nearest trash. He actually walked them out to the dumpster in the garage.

It's amazing how this had apparently been bothering him for so many years and I was oblivious. If I'd known it would bring him such joy, I would've had him toss them long ago.

What item of your partner's, clothing or otherwise, would you like to toss? And what of yours do you think they'd like to heave?


kimber p said...

excellent topic..she and I have done so many purgings of our things thru the last 10 and a 1/2 years, but I think she'd like me to get rid of the huge amount of counted cross stitch stuff I have (I have not made anything in 2 years at least) and I would love for her to sell her Yamaha drum kit and get us some cash. She's a professional drummer, but she gave up being in a band a couple of years ago and those drums are just wasting away in our basement.

TMC said...

My husband's always got at least one pair of shoes that I can't stand. At present they're a sort of gucci knock-off sneaker, complete w/ the ugly brown print pattern. Before that, they were cowboy boots. Before that (and before we were married), WHITE loafers. Talk about the horror!

Lianne said...

Ha! We did a "Not so Newlywed Game" at church for Valentine's Day. That was one of the questions, and, boy, did we get some funny answers on that. The thing I had to get rid of when my husband and I got married was a ceramic surfing monkey he got in Tijuana. I may have to blog about that... Thanks for the idea!

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

Ahahaha! Hammer pants! Wow, that takes me back.

I'd be scared to play that game - I don't like it when people tell me what they REALLY think! If I had to choose, I would get rid of Hubby's massive computer "parts" collection.

blognut said...

Do I have to narrow it down to just one thing? Just kidding - there really isn't anything left for me to get rid of, except maybe his winter coat because I'm really tired of looking at it. Since I do the laundry, he has clothes disappear all of the time and he has never even asked what happens to them. I guess he knows that I "lose" his stuff when I'm tired of seeing it.

Grand Pooba said...

LOL! Well is he happy now? I can't believe he had mc hammer pants! Glad you got rid of those early on!

There are so many things I would get rid of, I'm constantly throwing away his boxers because they have holes in them and he gets so mad when he finds out. But there is one T shirt he wears to the gym that has huge holes in the armpits, I mean huge, like there is no material left in the armpit area! And he doesn't care! Ugh, all right when I get home today I am so throwing that away!

I can't think of anything he would throw away of mine. But maybe i'm like you and am oblivious that something has been bothering him for years! Now I wanna ask him when I get home too!

Snarky A. said...

Ha ha, awesome post!
When Hubby & I got together, we were both traveling, so clothes were VERY limited. He did have a singe pair of long pants with him, a pair of jeans, which I like to call "the apple picker pants" since they were super wide in the thighs and skinny by the feet. Looked absolutely ridiculous on his skinny legs.
I did not MAKE him get rid of them... I just relentlessly teased him about them until he threw them out :)

soulbrush said...

oh dear, don't get me started, would love to toss most things and liven him up a bit! never gonna happen! what would he toss of mine? why nothing of course...

angi_b72 said...

haha MC Hammer pants!! Too funny. My boyfriend has good taste in clothes so i can't complain there...but right would throw his face away! Yep, his face...he shaved the other day and I LOATHE IT....i like a little stache and goatee adn he knows it and he shaved looks a 12 year old boy.
As far as I go...he would probably like to get rid of my mouth!! haha...seriously...proabbly clothes...i have way too many!

Debbi said...

Oh, I did that many times. I do the laundry, so I decide what to keep. ;)

As for MY laundry that Chris hates... uh... I'm the one with the fashion sense, so if he told me he didn't like something, I'd remind him that I'm following (or setting) fashion. He never argued. lol

Isabella said...

Were they true M.C. Hammer pants (with the super-sagging crotch area) or were they Zubaz? Both equally as disturbing, but different.

I had a pair of Zubaz back in the day - white with orange and blue zebra stripes (Chicago Bears colors). Fortunately, I never wore those in public.

My husband has an odd emotional attachment to his socks...even if they are holey, he won't throw them away. There are a few pairs I want to get rid of...but I told him he has to do it himself.

Call Me Cate said...

Kimber - I'm always up for selling things that aren't being used, take up space, and can bring in cash. Good choice!

TMC - I've given up the shoe battle. I swear he has more shoes than i do. WHITE loafers? That's a battle I'd fight for sure.

Lianne - surfing monkey totally needs to go.

Ryan - Joe finally ditched a lot of his when they had an electronics recycling day at work. So much more room in the office now!

blognut - one of the perks of doing the chores!

Pooba - be sure to report back! And if anything has holes in it (short of something worth repairing), I toss it. No questions.

Snarky - he did buy other pants to wear before he tossed them, right?

soulbrush - with your impeccable taste, no need to toss anything of yours I'm sure!

Angie - oh, I have those days, but they have nothing to do with facial hair.

Debbi - sounds like you've found a great argument to win every time!

Isabella - all I know is that they were UGLY. I'm glad you didn't wear yours outside!

Angela said...

Sneakily I have tossed stuff throughtout the years. The one thing he can't part with are his books from college. Come on he hasn't opened them since and times have changed since then. Then being early 80's. They have mold on them now from being in the basement where it tends to get damp. Why, why, why, won't he get rid of them. And he'll notice if I do it for him.

Rachel Tamed said...

Oh god how I use to loathe the MC Hammer pants. Do you recall the days when everyone thought those things were amazing. My poor brothers were even forced to run around looking like fools.

SisterFriend said...

Hm, well he did have this striped shirt I HATED and he doesn't wear it any more. I guess if I had to pick anything it would be his tighty whities. SO not attractive.

As for my wardrobe, I don't know what he'd get rid of. Maybe my sexy flannel long sleeved nightgown that goes to the floor? He did hate my overalls that were all the rage when we first met but those are long gone.

This is fun, post more of these questions!

SisterFriend said...

KimberP - You are a stitcher? Me too! Awesome.

Reeni♥ said...

I don't have a partner now but it did bring to mind my ex-boyfriends boots, not cowboy boot, but 80's hairband boots, and he would tuck his jeans into them...yeah, you get the picture. I came over to say hi and thanks for visiting my "saucy" blog!

Yaya said...

No way, seriously MC Hammer pants????!! Bahahahahahaha!!!!

I would so get rid of his t shirts from highschool.

Lyndsay said...

Ugh. Craig has these cheap, horrid sunglasses that I abhor. I call them his white-trash-nascar-glasses (does that earn me hate mail?). I need to find a way to return them to the land of bad ideas.

Tabitha Blue/Fresh Mommy said...

Oh that would be fun... and could be a bit scary!! I'd have to think about that one, nothing pops into my head at the moment! I have no idea what he'd have me get rid of, maybe I should ask.


Call Me Cate said...

Rachel - thanks for stopping by. Sadly I do remember when those pants were cool. Thankfully it was many moons ago.

SisterFriend - have you tried buying him alternatives? Your nightgown sounds way hot.

Reeni - oh, no. Those boots just sound wrong. Very wrong. Thanks for stopping over!

Yaya - is he reliving the good ole days with his shirts? Can a few of them just sorta disappear accidentally?

Lyndsay - you won't get hatemail from me. The glasses sound disgusting. Completely disgusting. Yuck.

Tabitha - you might be opening a big can of worms if you start him thinking about it!

Sassy Britches said...

Pokey would take my entire Umbros stash and torch it.

I want to load up all of his pleated front pants and bury them; Goodwill should not be subjected to that inhumanity.

Call Me Cate said...

Sassy Britches - I finally managed to convince Joe about the evils of pleated pants. Major victory for me! Carry on the good fight, it's an important issue.

Grand Pooba said...

btw, hubster couldn't think of a thing of mine that he would throw out. Shows you who has the fashion sense doesn't it?

Call Me Cate said...

Pooba - either you have fantastic fashion sense or a husband that knows better than to risk saying otherwise! I'm sure it's the former.