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Sunday, March 08, 2009

Confession: Woman driver

I have a confession to make... Remember how I gave up swearing for Lent? Yeah, well, it lasted roughly a week. And to explain why, I have provided you with a handy diagram:



Do NOT laugh at my diagram or I will punch you in the face!

So, Thursday night, after an exhausting day of The Boss being completely on crack about this event we were hosting, it was time to drive over to the opening evening party (the majority of the conference happened on Friday during the day). Because of limited parking, we carpooled to the location. I offered to drive, with about half of my coworkers in the car with me.

Now, please refer to the lovely diagram. The green car lane was going left and the purple car lane going right. We are in the blue car, making a left into a narrow lane that is surrounded by construction barrels.

I waited for traffic to clear and then pulled across to turn into this teensy tiny (did I mention narrow?) lane, wanting to make sure I didn't do something stupid like hit anything with the front of the car in that far row of cones.

Instead, I cut it too tight and took out the barrel so helpfully labeled "HALP!!", scraping it against the front driver's side of the car.

It was at this point that I yelled out "F&%#!!!". With my car loaded up with coworkers. And this is how I failed at keeping my Lenten promise of giving up swears.

P.S. My car's ok. It's over 5 years old and has some minor scratches anyways. This just possibly caused some rubbing near the wheel that could probaby be buffed out. I'm not even certain that those marks weren't already there.

P.P.S. I'm not an all or nothing girl. I have redoubled my efforts to give up further swearing.

P.P.P.S. My coworkers are just going to add this to the list of things I shall never live down.

P.P.P.P.S. When I called Joe to confess that I had hit a barrel, he thought I said I hit an animal. He was quite concerned.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Speaking of Joe, I finally won the "fish is NOT a sacrifice" argument. More on that later!

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Sorry about all those PS's. That was completely uncalled for.

14 comments:

Melissa B. said...

I almost got cremated by a Suburban yesterday...I swear, that gal needed a license to live, much less drive!

Just checking in...and reminding you about Sx3 today. Can you say Global Warming?

mo.stoneskin said...

Arrgh. The P.S's are chasing me and I'm freaking out!

mo.stoneskin said...

Love the diagram by the way.

Yaya said...

Lol! Thanks the laugh!

Snarky A. said...

Ha ha! I'm glad you (& all your coworker) are ok.

P.S. Impressed that you are not an all or nothing girl. Good for you. And good luck.

P.P.S. Congrats on winning the "fish is NOT a sacrifice" argument!

P.P.P.S. Haven't seen a "P.S" since first grade, when I used to get letters from a P.S.-loving pen pal.

Deb said...

good girl... back on that horse!

Great visual aid, btw.

andy said...

HAHAHAHAHA...And I totally did NOT laugh at your diagram. I value my beautiful face.

Road rage will get the best of lent any day.

Good luck with your born again, no f-bomb mouth;)

Pamdog said...

I loved your visual aid.. made me feel like I was right there in the passenger seat. And I agree... anything involving potential bodily or vehicular injury is good cause for invoking the F-word. Pretty much obligatory.
Pamela

Call Me Cate said...

Melissa - I'm so terrified of big SUVs. Too many close calls!

mo.stoneskin - don't be afraid of the P.S.'s. The can't get you.

Yaya - my pleasure!

Snarky A - yeah, there was no danger. Just stupidity. I P.S. occasionally but this was out of control.

Deb - I'm an artist at heart!

Andy - glad you you didn't laugh. I wasn't even roadraged. Just, dumb I guess.

Pamdog - I suck at explaining things so drawings are the way to go! I showed it to Joe - "Is it clear what I'm showing here?". He says "Oh, I thought you were talking about when the trooper pulled you over". Grrr...

Sassy Britches said...

Am so proud that you're back on the wagon; I didn't want to have to stage an intervention!

michelle said...

great visual you have for us..made it so much easier to get the drift! lol

m :)

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

OH, no! How embarassing with a car full of coworkers! Glad you are okay, though - and your car.

TMC said...

Is it safe to laugh at your diagram now?

teehee!

*if you punch me in the face, I'm going to punch you back. I'm certain we'd be instant friends after that, and both get at least a blog post out of it. Put up your dukes!*

Call Me Cate said...

Sassy Britches - I'm sure I still need an intervention for something. Just not this. Yet.

Michelle - glad you liked it!

RAS - so far, they just keep asking me if I hit anything on the way to work. Or at the end of the day they tell me to watch out for cones.

TMC - I think you're right. Exchanging punches to the face is a sure way to bond. I may suggest it for our next staff meeting.