I'm feeling introspective today and trying to figure out what I'm doing.
You know how when you're overly tired and no matter how many times you blink or rub your eyes, you just can't quite see clearly enough to really focus? My head is like that right now. I keep blinking, blinking, blinking... And clarity improves for a split second but then it unfailingly begins to blur once again.
One of the things really weighing on me is my health. Tomorrow, I return to the doctor. My expectations are to not come out of her office with answers but I am going to insist that we take a more aggressive approach to figuring out what is happening to me. I'm pretty sure she'll insist, actually, but if she doesn't, it's time to find a new doctor. So far, she's been by the book and I have confidence in her. But it's like when you have a headache - we've tried the equivalent resting, aspirin, ice packs, prescription pills. Now it's time to ramp up because none of the simple solutions are working. I'll feel better just knowing that we're taking stronger action.
Last Monday, I posted about my attitude adjustment. Despite the rest of this post, that's actually been going quite well. No matter how much I feel like I'm being slammed around by life, I keep reminding myself about that new and improved attitude and it's helped a lot.
I apologize if my posts aren't so warm and fuzzy or entertaining all the time. Actually, nah, I don't. It's my blog, it's my life. Thanks to everyone for your wise words in the comments of yesterday's non-post. I kept coming back to the reminder from Grand Pooba (and, seriously, she's the grandest pooba I know - I plan to post about her again later this week) that blogging is supposed to be an outlet, not an obligation. I'll post something every day because it makes me crazier not to but maybe I'll give you a secret bat-signal if it's a bit meh.
Yes, the secret word shall be "walrus", as decided by Twitter and random.org. Thank you to blognut for forcing me to figure out how to work "walrus" into my blog openings. Also, this was the most "normal" of the words she suggested. Thank you random.org for having my back!
So from now on, if you see a post that mentions "walrus" in the beginning, consider yourself warned!