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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Fuzzbutt Report

Time to file our monthly First Fursday report.  And since Rusty took advantage of my nap last month, it's my turn.  That's right, Tonya at the helm! 

It's been an odd month around here.  Lots of open windows and even an open door.  Normally I get yelled at when I sneak out that door to help the short-haired human cook my fishes on the firebox.  But suddenly the door is left open and the humans don't mind us joining them on the "porch".  Let me just tell you, I don't know what a porch is exactly but it has a lot of interesting sounds and smells.  I totally approve.

Also, sometimes when the humans are out on that porch, I'm able to hop up on the kitchen counter to see if they've left me any good snacks.  I found some spinach leaves once, which I love.  Then long-haired human found the same leaves again later that night where I puked spinach on the stairs.  Awesome.

If anyone cares, Rusty's been enjoying the sunshine, either on the porch or on the dining room floor where he likes to sleep in the bright spots.  One day I caught him trying to lick the sunshine off the floor.  Moron.  He makes the rest of us look so stupid.  But maybe he had the last laugh because later that night he puked rainbows.  Yeah, the rainbows looked a lot like the ribbon from a gift bag but still.  Only Rusty would barf rainbows.

Besides hurling, we also spent some time shedding our winter coats and then hiding from the vacuum monster.  Never fear, as soon as the vacuum monster returned upstairs, we made sure to recover the carpet in our fluffy goodness.

Speaking of hiding, the short-haired human packed one of those special bags in the closet and didn't come back home that night, leaving long-haired human alone.  I made sure to keep her company by singing her lullabyes all night.  Then the next morning, she was running around to leave for that place she goes and I did her a big favor by hiding under the bed in the guest room.  This way, I wasn't in the way for her to trip over and it saves her time if I don't rub against her black pants.  She wasn't impressed though and dug me out, quite impatient with me.  There's no making these humans happy!

This month is my birthday month, by the way.  I'm fully expecting a surprise party and all the tuna I can eat.  Please be sure not to disappoint me - the consequences won't be pretty for anyone involved.


mo.stoneskin said...

You write remarkably well for a cat. I find it amusing that you don't appear to know the names of the humans, but as cats tend to be selfish, self-indulgent, self-occupied rascals that doesn't surprise me. I personally don't enjoy it under the guest bed, or any bed, there's no kettle under there and even if you take a cup of tea with you it is blindingly difficult to drink it under the bed.

Sass said...

I have no idea what to say, other than right now I'm absolutely cracking up.

Lisa said...

most excellent Puss !!!
keep on ruling the roost !!

Wizard Cat said...

I love you.

Let us go and make b-mew-tiful mew-sic together.

And lots and lots of littles Wizzes, if you know what I'm saying.

Mrs Cooper said...

ROFMMAO. It's ashame you don't just have your own blog like my human gave me. Meow to you.

blognut said...

Tonya, it's great to hear from you. I'm a little disappointed that you recently missed an opportunity to put cat hair all over the long-haired human's black pants. That's a key component of your job, is it not?

Also, when you sing all night to keep the long-haired human company, I've heard she likes a song called Swiss Colony Beef Log. I'll send you the lyrics so you can begin practicing.

The Blonde Duck said...

Queen Bitty wants to know what time to attend this birthday bash.

Call Me Cate said...

Mo - I'm surprised she acknowledges Rusty's existence, let alone his name. And I'm sure she'd do a fabulous job spilling tea under the bed. Or anything else for that matter.

Sass - Glad you enjoyed my terror-cat.

Lisa - She rules it for sure. Rusty (and the humans) all cower in the corner.

Wizard Cat - Ha, I laughed. Sorry but Tonya no longer has those parts. I do think that's the first online proposal I've ever had for my cat though.

Mrs Cooper - Their egos would be even more out of control with their own blog. If that's even possible for a cat (to have a bigger ego I mean).

blognut - Thanks a lot. Good to know you've always got my back. And of course it's the eggnog line that's stuck in my head.

Blonde Duck - Tonya's already begun celebrating but her birthday isn't until next week.

cw2smom said...

Love your style Tonya! A cat with attitude!! How unusual!! ::Tongue in Cheek:: Rusty certainly does sound like a moron! How do you stand it? LOL! Looking forward to your next post! Blessings, Sunshine and Fresh Air...Lisa

andy said...

Thank you Tonya for the laugh.

It was most welcome amidst all the anxiety and tears of late.

Plus, don't be too hard on Rusty for licking and subsequently puking rainbows. It can happen to the best of us. They look so pretty with all the colours and's almost like if you can just get the rainbow inside you, everything will be awesome!


Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Spinach and rainbows and hiding, oh my! (way too much Wizard of Oz from me lately).

Tonya, tonya... maybe go under the bed to barf up spinach, that way you can blame it on Rusty. Just add a few candy sprinkles, voila! Rainbow vomit.

Vevay Anderson said...

We have suuck in to see what it is our human is so engrossed in on this clicky machine that she will not keep both hands on us at all times. We were not informed that she was reading things by other cats and are extremely jealous. We will throw up next to the bed while she is sleeping so she steps in it in the middle of the night on her way to the human litter box!

Scout and Boo Radley

Wizard Cat said...


All the better! I don't need a lot of little kits getting their filthy little paws into all my potions and stuff.

So, Tonya, you, me, a can of tuna and a bottle of milk this evening?

Beth said...

My dog needs to hang out with this cat. Maybe it would raise her IQ.

Snarky A. said...

I love these posts! Thanks Tonya!

Call Me Cate said...

Lisa - she doesn't stand it. She smacks him around at every opportunity. And he smacks back.

Andy - My kitties cheer me up often, gad she made you smile. And I think you're spot on about the rainbows. I'm putting that on my to do list for today - eat sunshine...

RAS - If my cat barfs under the bed, I am totally holding YOU responsible.

Vevay - your pets are evil for sure. And probably super-snuggly as well.

Wizard Cat - add a dish of pumpkin puree, I'm sure she'd accept your invite.

Beth - the chances of Tonya hanging out with any dog are pretty slim. Unless you cover the dog in salmon.

Snarky - bet Moo's happy to see you!