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Friday, May 22, 2009

A new award

Because what the blogging world really needs is another award, I introduce to you the "Punch you in the Face" award. And now I shall award it to two worthy losers recipients.

Dear Feedburner,

Though I am completely capable of following directions and have done so, you continue to refuse to burn my feed in a timely manner. Since this is your primary purpose, this means you fail at life. While I would love to have an idea of how many people are receiving my feed, it's more important that they actually do receive my feed. So for your superior ability to screw up this simple task, I present you with this award. I tried all day to "troubleshootize". No go. Goodbye, Feedburner. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Feel the burn,

Dear Twitter,

Since you completely fouled up the @replies, my little Twitter window has been strangely silent. This has forced me to find other ways to fill my time. Crazy ways such as being productive at work. Talking to my husband. Brushing my cat. Watching paint dry. So I am choosing to reward your inability to understand the point of social networking with this award.

Tweet this,


mo.stoneskin said...

If you're after more ways to pass the time how about painting the cat and then watching it dry?

Me, Amplified said...

is it bad that when i saw you had a new award i instantly wanted it?

instead of twitter you could write tiny little blog posts...

C. Beth said...

Ooh, I like that award!! I'd like to pass it along to telemarketers who ignore Do-Not-Call rules.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You tell various pieces of technology off in such a dignified and poetic manner.

Intense Guy said...

If ya really get bored - you could escalate to the "show 'em the bird" award.


andy said...

re: feedburner...i don't get it. should i? i just assume with that little rss symbol on my page, whatever needs to work does. ignorance is bliss. or just stupidity. whatever.

and twitter? i am so over it. thinking of shooting that bird right out of the tree.

you and a few others are the only reason i stay.

for shiz.

The Wife O Riley said...

I still have no clue what feed burner is. And if I did, it will be completely unrecognizable since the punch in the face.

I need to give this award to the job that I lost yesterday after 7 years.

Juliet Colors said...


Call Me Cate said...

mo.stoneskin - I considered dipping her tail in the paint once, using it as a new faux finish. Probably not a good idea.

Me, Amplified - nah, you don't want this award. I know someone that gave up on Twitter and just sends messages to their blog. Kinda cool.

C. Beth - telemarketers are a perfect recipient.

mjenks - Why, thank you! I believe they'll read further if they think I'm being nice. THEN I punch them in the face.

Intense Guy - Entirely possible. I usually save that for driving though. Which I'm not proud of but how ELSE do you visually communicate that the other driver possesses inferior driving skills?

Andy - I'm touched that you put up with Twitter for me. And nevermind Feedburner. I can't endorse it after the way it has treated me.

Wife O Riley - I read your post last night. That stinks but let's hope, as you said, that another opportunity presents.

Juliet - I like to use my powers for good. I just rarely succeed.

She said...

Okay, I just NEED to know how you created your signature and that cute heart! How awesome is that?

And feedburner, I will kick it's ass on your behalf if you want me to. I know I don't know you well or anything, but I feel your frustration. And I offer my butt kicking services freely.

She said...

"Its ass" not "it's ass" -- I'm so freakin' tired! Although I'm certain that feedburner -- it is an ass!

blognut said...

I love the award, and you gave it to such worthy recipients, too!

Good going!

Chitown Meg said...

who are the recipients?? LOL and yeah Twitter has me irriated to...doing like normally daily tasks...what the heck?

2cats said...

Awards are a good idea for the undeserving.
But I don't know what a feedburner is, unless it is a burner that someone feeds stuff into.
And I have heard of twitter but don't know what it is either.
Am I missing out on good/bad stuff?

Lisa said...

You go Cate : )

Ribbon said...

Too good!

:-) Ribbon

Snarky A. said...

Love the award! I can think of a few people who would deserve a punch in the face! :)

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

This award deserves a plaque. Or to be placed on one, I mean. Bravo!

Can you send one to my stomach? It is NOT shrinking like it's supposed to, and a good punch might kick it into gear.

B said...

Oh dear, I have a few people who could really use that award. Can we send in worthy recipients for your approval? And, if they win will they get a real punch in the face, because oh that would be good!

Call Me Cate said...

She - I have a tablet laptop so I actually just used a pen to draw the heart/sign my name and colored it up in Photoshop. And I'm sure you're right - it IS ass. As well as possessing one to kick. Thanks for the offer!

blognut - I need to practice restraint because I could make every post every day an award post. I've already got another one lined up. Maybe this can be my new non-Saturday, non-cat method of phoning it in!

Chitown Meg - I'm just sad Twitter is so quiet. Their programmers so deserve a punch.

2cats - You're missing out on a lot of time-wasting and frustration.

Lisa - Booyah!

Ribbon - I was angry and inspired. Dangerous combination.

Snarky - I should award it to calculus in your honor.

RAS - I'm going to get it tattooed on my ankle maybe.

B - Hmm, great idea. Maybe I will open up to nominations. I'm sure you all have plenty you could submit!

Megan said...

I've only heard complaint after complaint about feedburner so I've avoided it at all costs. ;0P Sounds like it really, truly deserves this award.

And Twitter, I don't do too much with it so I'm still not really sure what the dealio is but becuz you're upset about it, I'll be upset about it with you. =)

Fragrant Liar said...

Technology sucks way too much for us to be so ga-ga about it. Way to go for calling them on it publicly.


Feedburner has never worked for least the interface. Supposedly, I have many people subscribed. Then again it also says that I have very few people subscribed. As long as I have people to talk to....I don't care what it thinks.

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