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Monday, May 04, 2009

Swine flu?

I wanna be like the cool kids.  I'm not sure if what I have is swine flu, bird flu (remember when that was all the rage?), scurvy or Cate-itis. My symptoms are as follows:
  • inflamed and infected pinky finger (this has been going on for two months now)
  • coughing at night (since November)
  • nasal congestion
  • itchy (no "b" on that, tyvm)
  • thumb-print shaped bruise on left foot (like I was grabbed by aliens in my sleep)
  • cranky
  • sleepy
  • generally wonky
So, what do we think? Undiagnosed condition that requires working from home for the next few days? Maybe if I start some sort of petition I can convince the drama llama boss to let me run amok require me to stay home for the safety of everyone around me. Especially the children. Because it's all about the children.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I have bird flu because I completely chickened out of posting my intended topic for today. I didn't want to make people angry and I haven't taken the time to properly edit it yet and run it by my sponsors therapist moral guide.

P.P.S. Also, I'm not making light of the current epidemic. I just tend to think the media is a little out of control at times. I'm living with hand sanitizer just like so many others.

22 comments:

Sass said...

My neck is all itchy.

I think I have swimming pool granuloma...or woolsorter's disease...or turkey leg angioma.

H F W said...

I have had to explain a few times this past weekend that no, I don't have the swine flu; I have terrible seasonal allergies that make me look like I've been sick for weeks without any sleep mostly because my eyes water and wash away the make up that's supposed to help me look half human (and I haven't been doing a good job of taking the fish oil, which waaay lessons the symptoms).

Sounds like maybe you're suffering from the same? Or maybe it is the bird flu?

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Everytime Monsoon cough's (awful allergies) people look at me like I should be jailed for bringing him out in public. Pfffttt! Those are probably the same people that sneeze into the air.

I vote that you have something new and exciting: bird scurvy.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

p.s. I keep forgetting to mention how fabulous the button is that you created for the lucky winner.

and... bummed, I was so hoping to get worked up and offended today.

Comedy Goddess said...

You have: it-sucks-to-be-human-itis.

This calls for a day at the Spa. I'll come with you.

TMC said...

I may or may not know exactly what the problem is but if you think I'm going to tell you when the prize is CAT HAIR, you really are ill. :)

Intense Guy said...

I hope whatever you have - you get over it soon.

I'm just living with my hand (unsanitized).

mo.stoneskin said...

Pigs don't have pinkies so I reckon you have so far avoided swine-flu.

Hope you feel better soon.

andy said...

must google symptoms so that i can diagnose you.

or re-runs of "medical mysteries".

curious.

i love a monday morning challenge that does not involve working.

SF said...

You have a bruise on your food? That must be uncomfortable. I elect you stay home! You look ill from here.

Tori_z said...

LOL @ "I think I have bird flu because I chickened out......."

;)

Anyway... I have something for you on my blog. :)

Mrs Cooper said...

It definately sounds like Cate-itis. You better stay home and drink lots of gin. Alcohol helps the fever and numbs any other pains you might have.LOL

The Wife O Riley said...

It sounds to me that you have "You-can-all-just-suck-it-itis". I get it every Monday...and Tuesday...sometimes Wednesday...Not on Thursday...occasionally on Fridays.

Call Me Cate said...

Sass - Swimming pool granuloma can only be treated with a mug of coffee and a nap.

HFW - Isn't it horrible? You sneeze and people think you're trying to infect them. I'm definitely having allergy issues.

RAS - You KNOW those people aren't washing their hands after using the bathroom. Gross. I'm planning on offending you tomorrow.

Comedy Goddess - it-sucks-to-be-human-itis, huh? I'll take it if it means a spa day!

TMC - I'm generous with what I've got. Just nobody wants it. Tonya is offended.

Intense Guy - I think I'll get over it in about 11 hours when it's no longer Monday.

Mo - Good point! Though, if my finger falls off due to scurvy, might I be at risk for swine flu then?

Andy - I'm with you. Anything to avoid work.

SF - damn, the bruise is on my foot. Spellcheck didn't catch my mistake. But yes, I SHOULD stay home.

Tori - Will check it out, thanks!

Mrs Cooper - I like your prescribed cure. I'll be sure to give it a shot.

Wife O Riley - I think I'm worst on Thursdays knowing Friday is so close yet so far...

Grand Pooba said...

You definately need to stay home. That's what they say to do with if you have symptoms right?

Sorry boss, the news reporter told me I can't leave my house today.

Comon people! Get a grip!

Yaya said...

Hmmm...unexplained sickness. Just don't webmd it...never good.

Sassy Britches said...

Yep, looks like you could probably get out of work, you know...just to be safe. :)

I'm anxious to see what the INTENDED post for the day was! Don't keep us in suspense!

Juliet Colors said...

I got hit with an attack of severe crankiness shortly after I got up this morning. But I'm blaming it on I-Hate-My-Job-itis.

I hope tomorrow's better for us both!

Amy K. said...

I have a horrid cold and I worried all day my boss would send me home (really, because I didn't wana go, I have a lot to do!)

Also, in the category of "Things That Make You Go Huh???": I teach school, we got a HUGE memo from administration saying wash hands, remind the kids, be clean etc...BUT, no wipes or sanitizer allowed in the classroom because they have toxins in them. Huh?? Like perhaps my 4th graders will suck the wipes to kill the germs on their hands???

Feel better. :-)

Grand Pooba said...

So I'm not apologizing for this, I'm just letting you know that I beat you with a stick over on Andy's blog (Finding Fairy Tales)

Ya know, just an FYI.

Veggie Mom said...

Could it be allergies? How about SARS...do you remember that from a few years ago? Is it bloggily contagious? If so, I'll wear a mask the next time I visit. Hope you're better soon!

Call Me Cate said...

Grand Pooba - my problem is that if I call in sick tomorrow, I won't be allowed to telecommute on Wednesday. I need Wednesday. Bummer, huh?

Yaya - webmd is NOT my friend!

Sassy Britches - Tuesday's post (which I accidentally posted early) is ready to go!

Juliet - I'm not sure which came first today. Hating my job or the cranky attitude.

Amy K - Feel better! Really, no sanitizer allowed? First I've heard that. How bizarre!

Grand Pooba - trouble maker!!!

Veggie Mom - I just said to myself "oh man, SARS!" the same way someone might reminisce about MC Hammer pants. I'm pretty sure I'm mostly allergies so not contagious.