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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Respect the butter

During family vacation (Ha! You thought I was done babbling about that!), I discovered several key areas in which I'm much different from my family. One of which can be summed up by the state of my butter when I returned home.

As part of our effort to bring a lot of basics since we had more room in our vehicles, I brought along a lot of condiments. And a big tub of butter. Hear me out, folks. I'm going somewhere with this!

When we arrived back home after the trip, I pulled the butter out of the cooler and found a disaster. The butter was full of jagged edges. And CRUMBS!!! In fact, it was quite obvious that someone had wiped their knife on the inside edge of the tub!!! Can you imagine?

Now, I treat my butter like a lady. Smooth edges, even layers. No big gashes out of the center, no ridges from knives. And certainly no crumbs. My family ravaged my butter, leaving it in a very sorry state.

But as I said earlier - this lack of respect applies well beyond the butter. There's no respect for much of anything. Staying in a rented house (a house rented in Joe's name, for the record, making him liable for any damages), they routinely used the hot tub and pool without rinsing the sand off from the beach. In fact, this is how they chose to rinse the sand off. Never mind the conveniently-located outside shower!

There was also no respect when it came to keeping things picked up inside the house. Partially-eaten bags of chips, half cans of soda, wet towels, and other belongings were left everywhere. This made me a bit nuts - with that many people living in such limited space, I craved a bit of order. And none was to be found.

When I returned to the sanctity of my own home, I also craved butter. But first I had to heal it from the atrocities afflicted upon it by my family. I'm sorry, butter. It won't happen again. I promise.

P.S. - Maybe you think I'm a little over the top about my dairy products. But it's not just the butter. It's what it represents. It's much bigger than the butter.

P.P.S. - Respect my butter, respect me. Don't respect my butter, don't expect holiday gifties. Or fresh muffins.

19 comments:

The Wife O Riley said...

Oh, I hear you!! Butter is like a currency. The proper respect should be paid.

angi_b72 said...

that is hilarious!! Nothing worse than toat crumbs in the butter!!

TMC said...

What are you doing eating butter from a TUB?

Guttermouth said...

I completely concur. The form of the butter isn't really important... tub or stick... irrelevant really, However, there should be no absolutely no crumbs, ever, in on or around said butter.

It's gross. Seriously.

Tortuga said...

Oh I couldn't agree more. There are members of my family that I know I could trust with anything...and then there are those I won't even trust with my butter.

My kids leave crumbs on the butter, but only on the stick that they know is allotted for toast and stuff like that.

Yeah...I actually have butter for different purposes...

blognut said...

I will make every effort to respect the butter.

Does that go for peanut butter, too?

mo.stoneskin said...

It's moments like that - discovering crumbs in the butter - that make wish for stricter laws. Modern liberalism is doing away with respect for culinary protocol.

a corgi said...

I get this; I totally understand and respect your right to have your butter treated with respect. We had issue with the cream cheese over the weekend; son decided to defrost some sausage to cook with and in the process when he was trying to separate the sausage (perhaps using a sledge hammer) on top of the cream cheee container of all places, the cream cheese container broke and he had to put the cream cheese in a regular plastic container. I can't believe he didn't think of a safer way to defrost/separate the sausage so that he wouldn't have made chaos of the cream cheese. I do get it! (seriously I do; I'm not mocking in any way)

it is the principal behind the whole thing; respect for another person's property, no matter if it is "just" butter

betty

Princess Andy said...

i'm totally getting your butter analogy.

plus the reality of it is gross.

who wants someone else's crumbs on their food...three days later?

ick.

andy:)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Wait? Muffins? Yeah, I'll respect your butter. Now, make with the muffins, lady.

C. Beth said...

I don't usually respect the butter but if it results in muffins from you, I'm willing to change.

Yaya said...

I thought I was the only person who hated crumbs in their butter

Marianna said...

Well lets hope and wish for...butter days lol

xoxo

2cats said...

My husband and I each have a butter container. He doesn't mind crumbs in his butter. However, I think that crumbs are reason for divorce.

Melissa B. said...

Sounds like my family vay-cays. That tub of butter could be a metaphor for so many things...often, I need a vacation from my vacation, because the one with the fam was so stressful. We're still trying to figure out whose butt put a butt-shaped dent in the hood of my hubby's car. One of the kids downstairs on the photo to his gf, sitting on the car. You get the picture, I'm sure!

Tori_z said...

*Makes mental note to bring my own butter if visiting you*

You and my Dad would get on well... He's obsessive about the state of his butter too.

slacker-chick said...

crumbs in the butter, sand in the hot tub -- makes me itchy!

Debbi said...

HAHAH, oh Cate. I love that you have some MORE wierd idiosyncracies to add to your vast list!

Butter in a tub?? sounds scary.

but, You, my dear, have my heart! ;)

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Don't they know? Bread molds before butter. If bread crumbs are IN the butter, the butter is ruined!