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Monday, July 06, 2009

Zombies

This weekend, I officially became a zombie.

Jealous?

I know you all want to be cool like me so here's my secret: Sleep a total of 3-4 hours each night, ranging from 30 to 90 minute intervals. Try to be productive. In public even. Lather, rinse, repeat until maximum zombie-ness has been reached.

You'll know you've reached the optimum zombie-level when the cashier at the shoe store looks like he might call security because you're standing in line totally talking to yourself. And when he asks if everything is alright, you laugh so maniacally that even your husband is alarmed and refuses to leave you unsupervised in public for the rest of the day.

For bonus points, fall asleep while standing up in PetSmart holding a 40lb bag of Tonya's gourmet crunchies. (That one is totally Joe's fault for taking too long to compare prices and brands of kitty litter. But I still allow him to buy me things love him.)

The good news is that I've seen improvement in my sleep the last two nights. Bit by bit, I may return to the land of the living. Though zombies are pretty cool too...

20 comments:

TMC said...

I prefer vampires.

The Wife O Riley said...

With all the activity this week, I am well on my way to zomie-dom myself. Valerian Root is an awesome herb that helps you get to sleep and stay asleep.

Snarky A. said...

Together, we can create a zombie nation, made entirely out of awesome and sleep deprivation. It will be totally rad.

Ronnica said...

Sorry that I'm laughing at you...but this is a funny picture. Hope you've gotten some sleep!

Hit 40 said...

I have trouble staying asleep. When I wake up, it takes a couple hours to get tired again. Very annoying.

I have had people offer me free coffee at starbucks because I can look pretty scary at times. I just don't care. Life is too short to put make up every day.

City Girl said...

Sleeplessness isn't funny - but, I'm sorry, this is fun-ny!

And...comparing prices on kitty litter? Are you kidding me? When it comes to Litter, you get what you pay for - cheap out, and you'll live to regret it!

:SITS:

Princess Andy said...

i agree with TMC...zombies aren't as sexy as vampires.

glad your sleep is improving at least.

andy:)

Sunshinemeg said...

Haha with a 40 lb. bag of crunchies! Hilarious post. Hope you get some sleep this week.

Lee Beth said...

Haha that's so funny.

mo.stoneskin said...

*rubs bleary eyes and then laughs manically*

Bwahahahaha.

slacker-chick said...

Grrrr...I hate it when I can't sleep-I not only become a zombie but a grumpy zombie (although, how many happy-go-lucky zombies have you heard of?). Anyway, I hope you start to get more sleep.

Yaya said...

I've totally got the zombie thing down. So much so that cashiers are constantly telling me I "look tired" or have I "had a long day?".
Great.

C. Beth said...

Oh, wow. You wrote it in a funny way, but it sounds awful. :( Hope you come back to life (real life, not living dead life) soon.

Guttermouth said...

Great entry, I've been through phases like that before and can totally sympathize with the feeling!

Funny I found myself using "lather, rinse, repeat" in one of my blogs earlier in the week... and talking about zombies earlier today via twitter.

Small world. Even for the undead. ;-}

2cats said...

I used to sleep 3-4 hours a night, now it is more like 2-3 Valerian Root is good for sleeplessness, but don't buy it at Wal-Mart. Spend a bit more and get it from a health food store or co-op. It is a much better quality that way.
I hope we both get some sleep soon.

Tori_z said...

3 to 4 hours a night is considered a good night sleep for me (even if it's broken sleep). I've been known to go 30 or more hours before finally managing to go to sleep. I think it might be affecting what little sense I once had though, because more and more people are telling me they're worried about my sanity. But, what's wrong with wanting a pet lion? And why shouldn't I take said pet lion with me on a boat ride? And I thought it was quite sensible for hubby to leave the door. I mean, if he went to get it then anyone could have just walked in while we were sleeping... Best to leave it where it is!

blognut said...

Excellent! I am a zombie most of the time. At least during the week, anyway.

woo hoo!

The Pretty Provy said...

hilarious - love your writing style!

i'm totally following you now. and i'm telling you about it in advance, unlike a stalker. stalkers don't advise their prey, so i'm not a stalker. just making sure you know that.

Grand Pooba said...

Hmmmm, I think I'm already on my way to zombie land, still working past midnight. Yep, tomorrow definately a zombie.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Ah, yes... I remember some zombie days, too. When Monsoon was just a couple months old, I fell asleep while the dentist filled a cavity in my own mouth.