I'm not going into all the icky details but I will say it was unpleasant having a tube through my nose and down my throat for 24 hours. I was constantly aware of it and there was no real way to get comfortable. Every swallow, sneeze, or turn of the head pulled the tube ever so slightly, reminding me of the electrical wiring now residing in my esophagus.
On the outside, the tube was taped to my nose, my cheek, and then behind my ear, eventually attaching to a 1980's PDA encased in a really fashionable carrying pouch. I actually weighed this thing - 5.6lbs. It runs on eight AA batteries and I had to wear it around my neck the entire time so I would have access to the buttons:
- Button 1 (Cough)
- Button 2 (Heartburn)
- Button 3 (Hairball)
- Begin/End Eat
What this means is that instead of a usual night of *cough cough cough*, Joe had to listen to *cough cough cough beep beep beep*.
Maybe the lack of sleep is what clouded his judgement when we went in Wednesday morning to have the tube removed. The nurse asked how it went and I told her it was uncomfy but not unbearable. She then asked if I had any strong symptoms.
me: I'm a little disappointed I didn't have more severe symptoms. I had some but I was hopeful the machine would capture some major activity.Better than that is when I relayed the conversation to SomeMonkey:
Joe: It's like when you take your car to the mechanic. "I swear, it makes a clunky noise!".
me: You did NOT just say I make a clunky noise.
Joe: No, I said the car makes a clunky noise.
me: But I'm the car. You called me clunky! Clunky is not a word you are ever allowed to use to describe me!
Nurse: Umm, you're free to go now.
me: i think he called me a BuickFor the record, SomeMonkey would never call me fat. Or a Prius. Or a Buick for that matter. She's totally got my back.
SomeMonkey: no, a prius
me: omg, are you saying i beep when i backup?
did you just call me fat?
i swear, you're all against me
SomeMonkey: teeny and cute and environmentally friendly
me: and fat!
Also, thanks to all you who offered prayers, positive thoughts, and words of encouragement both here and on Twitter. @religionbites assured me that I wasn't "that bitchy". I think that's a good thing.
Results are next Thursday so we'll see what the future holds. Hopefully no more wiring expeditions down my esophagus.