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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Time for some punch!

It's been far too long since I last bestowed any "Punch in the Face" awards. Let's see who the morons award winners are today!

Dear Library,

On August 2nd, I visited a bookstore. Rather than spend Joe's my money on several books, I searched your offerings and found that you could supply one! Even though I would have to request the book since all copies were checked out, I did so while feeling quite proud that for once I had saved a few dollars instead of turning over Joe's my entire paycheck to Amazon like I usually do.

Today is August 16th. There are now four copies overdue. One copy was returned at another location and given to someone else who had put in a hold request after me. I'm very disappointed in you and will not be thanking you in the cover of my own book when I write it some day. In fact, I'm going to make sure you aren't allowed to have a copy at all.

See if I ever make another donation of Joe's money to you,

Dear Facebook,

I really don't need to know that Rob became a supporter of Sarah Palin. Or that Vicky is a fan of naps and loves her husband. I won't sleep better tonight knowing that Sue voted for "God" in the "Universe Creation" poll and it added nothing to my life finding out that Adam is a fan of Cocoa Puffs. I also could've existed forever without the knowledge that Jose found a lost cow on his property in Farmville.

Still, you feel the need to tell me things incessantly. Why can't you give me the option to block all fan/support/quiz notifications? Instead, you make me block my friends because they are too stupid to realize these things make me deeply dislike them just a little.

So thank you, Facebook, for enabling people I haven't spoken to in years an opportunity to bumper sticker their lives with small bits that make me hope it's even more years before I speak to them again.

I'm a fan of laser-shooting robot armadillos,


Seansmoma said...

I am so Sick of those stupid Facebook notifications! WHY do people feel the need to hit "Publish" on EVERYTHING?!!? My word! You know you just leveled up in YoVille, I don't also need to know, Click "Skip."

Yes, yes, I understand.

Tori_z said...

With the library thing, it's first come first serve with books when they're in, and they rarely pay attention to who's requested books when they come in. You'd be better off not bothering to reserve books. Either go in regularly to look for it in the library, go and buy it, or go read something else.

Sarah said...

So wtf would be the point of reserving a book? That's a flawed system, and to just ignore it would be to condone it. That's messed up. Why would she go to the library "regularly" to check on a book she'd already signed up for? I know that if a customer came in to check on an order they placed where I work all the time, instead of just depending on us to do our job, they'd be up for a punch-in-the-face award from me.

Melissa B. said...

And I'm a fan of you, Cate! I joined FB to "talk" to former students. I have to say that I still really don't "get" it. Seems like an enabler of the lame, to me!

@religionbites said...

I definitely agree with you on FB. I try to read peoples status updates on the iPhone FB app bc I can skip seeing all of the bullshit. I just care what people have been up to in real life.

Lindy said...

Dittos on the FB annoyance! What about those people who send you drinks, hugs, flowers, and answer stupid questions about you and then wonder if you want to know how they answered?? Ignore already!

Dave said...

I post regular comments on my wall that I don't play any FB games or use any of the apps. I still get people who send me app/poll/group requests on a daily basis. I guess none of them bother to use FB for it's original purpose... Which is to COMMUNICATE. Really people? If you want to play games, go play a game and leave me out of it. I have business contacts and students who view my page. I don't want to have to sort through your nonsense in order to communicate with my students.

Oh, and I hate the people who still choose to post obscene comments on my wall even though I've told them is use it for business. Thanks a bunch!

That's a 'punch in the face' for you!

Princess Andy said...

i had a freak out last xmas (what else is new) and deleted all my friends on Facebook except for one.

although he's pretty irritating also. but i have to tolerate him because i have sex with him.

so this is really just another bullet point as to why i have no friends.

'cause i delete them.


p.s. hahahahahahaha!

Sassy Britches said...

Do not even get me started about the %*#&$ library. They never actually have books you want, so you have to order them. Then tehy give the books away to someone else OR you only get them for like two seconds before they're overdue.

And Facebook can eat my shorts with it's apps.

a corgi said...

I hope you finally get to read that book from the library, when you finally get it, and that it is enjoyable after all the effort you have gone through to try to reserve it; wish libraries would work better on their services like this

I totally understand about FB; I had to delete a lot of friends and family for this very reason; got tired of notifications, etc

hoping your day goes well :)


Tortuga said...

Oh I so agree with all of you. I hate publishing stuff on FB. I usually just make one little update note each day, unless something big happens, and pretty much only publish things that are a big deal.

Call Me Cate said...

The library just really disappoints me that they gave the book to someone that asked for it AFTER me. I request books all the time and have never had that issue before. I was just hoping to have it before I'm stranded at home on Tues for my pH test.

Snarky A. said...

Oh Facebook, how I loath thee... The constant annoyance of notices, polls & memes, it makes me wonder why again I even have a FB page. Not that I use it much. For that precise reason.

I haven't been to a library to check out a book in years. It is a great place to study though. But yeah, I bring my own books.

Mrs Cooper said...

I am so with you on those damn facebook notifications. I could care less that people are fans of certain things but why pull me into the craziness. If they can take the time to let me know they are a fan of something why can't they just take the time to type a note and say hello??? I've already put a message up to stop sending me all that junk and they don't listen.

Housewife Savant said...

I definitely greater-sign-three this post.

If I discovered that my library offered my held book out-of-order I would SO not pay for the rest of the Savant wing (overdue fines mostly, but I'm talking about the principle of this matter).
We take turns. That's how we live in a civilized society.

I agree with you about the facebook updates on every single bit o' minutae concerning people I only friended to UP my tally. I. Don't. Care. I loathe quizzes and I don't want any "gifts."
Sheesh stupid people!

On that note; wanna friend me? The button's on my blog. =)

quilly said...

Your Facebook tirade had me rolling on the floor laughing. Even though I feel like you do, I am very tempted to log in and toss a banana pie at you using Food Fight!

2cats said...

I am not allowed to check out books at my library. They say I owe for never returning 2 books. I never checked out those tow books, but they don't believe me.
I don't get FB. I have never been there. It intimidates me i think. I may have to get adventurous and check it out.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I had a similar experience with the library here this summer. I won't go into details, but I'm still cursing the asshat who decided to check out ALL of the Sandman books, despite the fact that I had the middle three, and not return them until the others had shown up.

Also, my reunion was yesterday. I didn't go. I'm glad. This second letter reminds me why I don't do the Facebook thing.

Moxie said...

All my pain went away and I started laughing at your mention to Facebook.

You should of given me an award for falling off a golf cart. That was pretty stupid of me.

Haha. I'd display the award on my blog proudly.

cherie said...

i'm not too crzy over FB myself...

Nikke said...

I never get notified when I request a book. It's so irritating.

And I know how you feel about those stupid Facebook notifications! I have a few people that fan everything and it's annoying!!!

blognut said...

This reminds me of the letter I wrote to Facebook a few months ago.

I really don't care what people are doing, and whether or not they are doing well in their mafia war, or their crop-tending, or the scramble tournament.

I just don't. :)

mo.stoneskin said...

I gave up on Facebook a couple of years ago when I realised I cannot keep up. Now I just log in every couple of weeks and when I do I wade through the four billion group requests, friend invites from people I don't know an all the rest of the guff it throws at me.

kristi said...

I hate the damn invites. Stop inviting me!!!!

And I refuse to get sucked into the Farmville craze.

slacker-chick said...

Ummm, so you're saying that not EVERYBODY on FB wants to hear that I am craving nachos and margaritas so much I want to marry them?

Tina said...

How could you not care what my hooker name is or how many people I will sleep with in my life? Now I'm sad. Think I will see if they have a quiz about depression.

Meg said...

YEAH! Facebook needs to listen. I get so sick of those freakin' notifications.