I moved to my current undisclosed location about nine years ago and I really have no friends here. This is at least in part due to my history - I always feel like I'm the one in the relationship making all of the effort so I just say screw it because maybe they just aren't interested. So I haven't exactly retained a lot of long-term real-life friendships and it seems like a lot of effort with probably no payoff to form new ones.
Consider me the champ of online friendships though. Sisterfriend, for example, has been my online bud since 1999 at least. And our plans to run away and join a convent are coming along quite nicely.
Somehow despite my social phobia I also do reasonably well with friends due to proximity. More acquaintances really, but I make it work. You are on a committee with me? Ok, I get along with you. Oh, you are my husband's classmate's wife? Sure, let's hang when the guys get together. But it ends there.
I've tried Meetup.com and found it very frustrating. We had no luck with the local couples groups. Either they all have kids and want to go to Chuck E Cheese or they're baby-haters. We don't have kids at the moment but might want to eventually. Why bother making friends only to be shunned if we reproduce?
And then there's the girls groups I've checked into. Even the ones that say they're open to both married and single women, kids/no kids seem to be all single chicks. Single unemployed chicks. How else are they meeting regularly on Tuesday nights starting at 10pm for karaoke or trivia night at a bar. Oh, and the 30-something guys group will be there too, by the way.
So if you don't have kids or you aren't a whore (despite your foot herpes), how do you make friends?
Every so often I read the "strictly platonic" section on Craigslist, w4w. How do you determine your new BFF from such a short description? It feels very judgey.
Then I consider maybe leaving it up to fate. Posting my own ad, seeing who contacts me. But what if nobody does? What if they're all stalkers? What if someone contacts me and I hate them? Or I'm too spazzed to meet them?
Besides, what would I even say?
Married woman who hates job, has no direction in life and has lots of free time but is terrified to leave her house and meet people seeks BFF for hanging out and chatting with but only sometimes. Don't currently have kids but might want to so added bonus if you'd coordinate a pregnancy with me so we can share the experience.
C'mon, you know you'd respond right away. Right?