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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Lost in Translation

I think I'm one of about four people in the world that didn't like that movie. Joe and I were so bored, waiting for something to happen. And the whole point was that nothing happens? If I want to be bored, I'll live my own life thankyouverymuch. And what did she whisper in his ear at the end? I'm fairly certain it was "can you believe these morons paid to see this dreck?" or maybe that's just what I was thinking.

Anyways, this post is not about that awful movie. This post is about Google Voice. See the connection? Google Voice does some cool stuff but one of the features involves emailing you a transcript of voicemail messages. Sometimes this is very helpful! Sometimes it is not.
Process of area fluffy fluffy fluffy fluffy that. Hey I. I mean.
This is a test message we left ourselves when we were doing research for Winey Wednesday. It was something about Tonya is a very fluffy fluffy fluffy fluffy cat. Followed by something I absolutely cannot remember.
Hello, I'm calling with Organizing for America special project of the Democratic National Committee. I'm calling to invite you to a rally in support of the bombers call for health insurance reform. The president need do to make your voice heard. I really need to reform he paid for by the Democratic National Committe, not authorize by any candidates or Janet. It's Committee.
So let me get this straight. They've mistakenly called Obama the bomber. Or is Google Voice run by conservatives? I'd love for reform to be paid for by the DNC or anyone else not named Cate & Joe for that matter. And I have no idea who Janet is so her authorization probably wouldn't mean a whole lot to me anyways.
You can, and all my presented the temporarily. Please if you have a customers. Please continue to hold briefly and apologize for the deadline. You'll be connecting to the moment. Please continue to hold briefly hello.
This one makes me think Joe may have applied for The Bachelor without my knowledge. Connecting to the moment? Maybe if the briefly hello goes well, they can go on a journey together, leading to the most shocking rose ceremony EVER!!!

And finally, my favorite by far, which arrived just in time for this post:
Hi, This message is for Kate, This is the endoscopy Center calling to remind you of your appointment on Friday, September 18th. Your appointment is at 8. Hey then. Please arrive 1 hour prior to your scheduled appointment time. You must have a responsible adult with you to receive discharge instructions and to drive you home if you have a good day. Please be sure to bring that with you when you come. You are scheduled at our Location located at 401 North West Scary Parkway if you had any questions, please call 93741524. A copy of your patience, right. Please call or visit our website.
So let me make sure I've got all this - they started out well with my time and date, even though they do spell my name wrong. Hey then! And if I have a good day (IF?!?!?!), a responsible adult must be there to bring me home. I should bring that (the responsible adult?) with me. Guess I'll take Joe. Also, their location is actually on Kerry Parkway, not Scary Parkway. Yes, I'm a bit afraid now about my appointment on Friday.

For the most part, I really like the service (no, this is not a paid advertisement). It allows me to call people for free and usually the voicemail transcripts are helpful enough that I can at least tell who called without actually listening to the message. Still, it seems there is plenty of room for improvement.

Much like that sucktastic movie.


jennybean79 said...

I didn't like it either! :+O

Princess Andy said...

omg i've totally got to get google voice.

although i think maybe i'm so totally NOT technologically gifted enough to set it up.

yeah, on second thought i should just pretend that i never read this post.


p.s. but i still love you:)

The Wife O Riley said...

Will Joe need references to prove that he's responsible? What if you have a bad day, can a goof-off drive you home then?

C. Beth said...

Oh wow, that is SO SO funny. I kind of want to get it just for the entertainment factor.

And, yes, Lost in Translation sucked.

Seansmoma said...

I've never seen Lost in Translation. If it doesn't make much sense, chances are I wouldn't like it either. Hey There! This post made me laugh til there were tears. Thank you for that!

robin said...

I am one of the four who hated that movie. I was rolling my eyes the entire time... a woman like her remotely interested in someone like HIM? Riiiight! And the last scene, when we don't know what she whispers to him? Annoyed. the. crap. out. of. me.
Anyway!!!.... ;)

Sass said...

So very rarely, a post makes me crack up laughing.

This was that post.

My goodness, Cate. And I, of course, read "Hey Then!" in a very excited voice.


Kelly said...

I have the invite for Google voice but haven't set it up yet - and now I'm not too sure :)
Though half the time I can't understand what the person is saying in the message either, so how the hell can I expect a computer to???
That reminds me, I have to clean out my real voice mailbox because it's full of messages that I keep saying I'll understand better the 47th time I listen to them.

Snarky A. said...

I love that movie. Not even kidding.

At least we agree that Google voice is hilarious.

Have an awesome day!

quilly said...

Ah! This tells me much. Google Voice messages are being typed in some non-English speaking third world country by middle school students. It is their English language class homework. As soon as each student achieves an 85% accuracy rate, they are transferred to telephone sales. ;)

Rena said...

I am crying laughing now. Thanks! Engrish-sounding translations are hilarious, as long as you can tell what it really means. Imagine if you went to the REAL Scary Parkway! :O


The giggles come out of my eyes. Thanks you. Engrish sounds are Hilary Clinton. Has no meaning, the Kerry Parkway! :O

blognut said...

I hated that movie! I couldn't even get through the first 30 minutes because it was so awful.

However, I think there is a definite amusement factor in google voice. I may have to try it!

Fragrant Liar said...

Technology is not always a good thang. I refuse to get Google Voice, much like I refuse to Twitter.

And Lost in Translation was exactly that for me. Lost.

Janet L. Nowlin said...

I might consider getting Google Voice just because it's that funny. I wish I could get Google Voice for my work... oh my goodness the people who leave me messages are so bad at being legible on their own... :)

Kaylen said...

I bring a copy of my patience with me everywhere I go!!
Hey there-that's good stuff! I want to get this just for the entertainment factor.

I thought I would LOVE the Lost in Translation movie, as I had spent a year in an asia country a short while ago so I thought I could really understand it....but all I understood with this movie was that it was lame and not interesting in the least.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

There must have been more than four who didn't like it. Stupid stupid stupid. Am I the only one who thinks Bill Murray gets creepier and creepier with age?

I thought you were supposed to bring the "good day" with you. To Scaryville. Good luck!

PetalsYoga said...

I be jealous. Me want Google Voice now too.

Good luck on Scary Parkway!