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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My living (green) hell

Joe's latest purchase is this thing that came recommended from the Wall Street Journal. And if there's one thing to be known about Joe, he does NOT argue with the WSJ. And if there's one other thing to be known about Joe, it's that his favorite color and philosophy are both green.

Anyways, this purchase sucks. I don't understand it exactly but I thought it was one of those lights or something you wear on your head when you're going coal-mining. Which, well, isn't a regular activity of ours. Turns out we had to hook it up to the electric meter outside while risking life and limb, dodging dive-bombing bees and neighborhood ninjas children. And now it tells us how much power is being used in the house at any given time.

So then if you're a math major genius data analyzer guru like Joe, you can actually tell how much power is being used by any one specific appliance.
Joe: OMG, what did you just turn on?
me: The lights in the bathroom.
Joe: They made it jump to 14!!!
me: What do you want me to do, shower in the dark?
Joe: Let me replace those bulbs.
me: The energy efficient ones are ugly in these fixtures!
Ten minutes later -
Joe: OMG, what are you doing?
me: Drying my hair?
Joe: MAKE IT STOP!!!
Any advice how to accidentally dismantle this thing undetected? It may save my marriage. Or at least my legs because I'm not that good at shaving unassisted by the magical powers of sight.

PS - I'm mostly kidding because I <3 my husband most of the time and he's NOT quite this uptight about it. Plus, I do support his saving the planet - I'm kinda partial to living on it. But I still think those bulbs in that particular fixture are an unacceptable amount of fugly.

20 comments:

Strange Mamma said...

OMGosh, my husband is ABSOLUTELY not allowed to know of this device's existence. We'd be living in the dark ages by noon. Ugh.

I'm totally going to have to buy him one for his birthday. damn

jabblog said...

My husband decided to get a device that showed how much electricity we were using. He was quite convinced it was the domestic machinesr that were consuming so much. Guilt trip for me until it turned out it was his technology that was greedy, not mine. Smug, me?
Bear with it - it's a boy's toy and the fascination will only last until another gadget comes along!

Lora said...

oh yeah. I don't want that at my house. Our electric company (and maybe they all do) gives a little bar graph of usage with each bill. It shows the entire year of use, and then gives data on this month, last month, and this month last year.

I'm so neurotic about that, I can't imagine what a minute by minute account would do to me.

I miss you. I've been super incommunicado lately. I have no excuse other than they are making me work at work and I never get on the computer at home. I'm still here, hanging on your words...

Seansmoma said...

This post made me laugh. Occasionally my husband turns the lights off . . . while I'm using them. But I don't think he would go so far as to get that little device . . . let's hope.

Princess Andy said...

i totally giggled at your "fugly".

that is such an under used word.

good for joe.

but i'd start plugging shit in all surreptitiously and then be like "i have NO idea what could be doing that".

andrea

kyslp said...

I have just found the perfect gift for my annoying 9 yr old. (A member of the Green Police.) I'll give it to him before he goes to my MIL's.

Leah Rubin said...

Yeah, if my hub (the electrical engineer) knew about this, I'd be toast, except, you know, with the toaster unplugged... But HE'S the one who always leaves the lights on, and I'm behind him, turning them off...

But I came by to say that I have just awarded you the sacred "Kreative Blogger" award! Thanks for all the great posts!

mo.stoneskin said...

If you like I could 'borrow' it to go spelunking?

C. Beth said...

I sure hope it's made out of recycled tires & is solar powered.

Grand Pooba said...

My hubster tried to change the light in my get ready room to one of those dark dreary energy efficient light bulbs, when I came out in the morning with mascara on my eyebrows, he agreed that I could use a REAL light bulb!

Dave said...

FTR... I am male... and I own a killawatt... it is unplugged and on a shelf....

until I finish my EV....

But I refuse to go around the house with it anymore.. too scary.

Matty said...

How about a trade-off. You get to keep the pretty lights where you want, and you promise to shorten the shower time.

If he doesn't go for that, then pull out the trump card......."back off the extreme green thing, or you're cut off".

Either way, give it time. Like any boy with his new toy, he'll soon tire of it.

Tortuga said...

I would actually be in the one in my house getting it...to prove to my hub that he eats electricity like I eat cookies. He's forever talking about how little power he uses compared to us.

blognut said...

I totally back you on this one, Cate. I will not endure an ugly bulb just for the sake of the planet. I will, however, keep in mind the visibility of the bulb itself when I go to replace the fixture.

2cats said...

My husband is the total opposite. He thinks all of this going green is a lot of, uhm b******t. He hardly ever remembers to turn off a light,unless I am yelling at him. He does not believe in global warming, if you can believe that.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Will he notice if a hammer accidentally makes it's way to that area and falls on it?

WeaselMomma said...

Maybe you have kids or a dog or ones that you could borrow that inadvertently get a hold of this device?

maddie/cadesmimi said...

Cate,
It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been drawn as the winner of the $10 Target Gift Card Giveaway on my blog, given away in celebration of my 100th post. Congratulations! If you will email me at baconkathy@yahoo.com with a mailing address, I will get your prize in the mail. Thanks for taking the time to comment--and I LOVE playing Six Word Saturday! Kathy

Sassy Britches said...

Don't ever tell anybody I said this, but I don't mind the way they look so much as the fact that it takes them forty million years to come to full-on brightness. Pttthtt on that.

Autumn said...

I was barely halfway through reading the comments when I laughed out loud at Princess Andy's idea. I love that! My bf has issues with the cleanliness of the house not so much with the electric bill (somehow I manage to keep that pretty low, no idea what I'm doing though). I've learned that if I feel like being lazy I can pour bleach down the drains and spray cleaner (like fabuloso or pinesol) in the air and he will assume I've worked my butt off all day. :)
Thankfully I keep him out of the gadget world when it comes to technology (I'm actually the techy in our family) but when it comes to cleaning products...geeze I think we now own every green product they make! And to be honest half of them dont work well.