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Friday, October 02, 2009

It takes all kinds of people

It's that time again! Actually, yesterday was that time again but this whole not sleeping thing kinda got the best of me so I phoned it in yesterday. My apologies.

My blog truly attracts a wide audience. Let's explore the Google search terms from the month of September for some examples.

People with self-esteem issues:

  • im ugly because my face isnt perfect - Have you tried wearing a paper bag?
  • "hiding under the bed" "wedding night" - I'm pretty sure you're doing it wrong
  • need a new bff single no kids - Call me!
  • don't call me british i am Irish - I have a friend who is Scottish so I know you all get a bit fiesty about that
  • what to do when your husband won't show you his phone but has it on lock, sleeps with it, and won't show you it but, says he isnt doing anything wrong - Definitely Google it first. Then call Dr. Phil. (How did you end up here? But welcome!)
  • would joe make fun of me if i was 4 feet tall? - He totally might. He's been known to have an odd sense of humor.

Skanks:

  • coffee slut - I've been called a lot of things but that's not one of them very nice
  • klondike bars boxers - What would you do for that?
  • hot neighbor asked me to come over - What a traitor! I saw him first!
  • anesthesia flirting - Way more fun than I had.
  • do i tell a sugar daddy i have an std - Not if you want him to remain your sugar daddy.
  • bank cleavage - I think the site you were looking for is over here. This is much more her area of expertise than mine.

Rocket scientists:

  • i'm thinking of majoring in math - Good luck with that! Or maybe I should include you in the next category...

Morons:

  • pregnant lady who's pregnant - I find most pregnant ladies are pregnant. Is it wrong of me to generalize like that?
  • the butter lady - She's probably with Aunt Jemima making me some pancakes

Show of hands if you came here via the following two because we need to talk:

  • how to get rid of an angry neighbours - If you know the secret, seriously call me!
  • cat death recliner - Should I be worried about this? I was only concerned about my own death in the recliner.

Such a variety of folks and yet I <3 most of you you all.


P.S. For those of you asking where I find this information, I have Google Analytics set-up on this blog. It's a free tool that helps you track how much traffic visits your site and where it comes from. But don't be afraid - it's still pretty anonymous so it's not like I'm going to show up at your house or anything.

15 comments:

sweet limes said...

Got my morning chuckles for sure today. Makes me glad I didn't google my way to you.

Nikke said...

How dare you generalize that all pregnant women are pregnant!
Some people...you think you know someone.

Those were quite funny!
Some people should stay off google, but then again, I wouldn't have laughed my ass off for a few minutes.

LoL

Princess Andy said...

if i hadn't been such a tardo and forgotten my head up my butt i would be able to share with you also...

but alas, i needed you and your wizardry to save the day.

and all is now well in my world.

and i'd watch the cats and those recliners. you've got to have something that's just for you. once they figure out how comfy they are, do you think tonya will stay on the coffee table?

me neither.

andrea

blognut said...

Good one, Cate! You totally called me out - 'cause we have actually discussed the amount of cleavage that is appropriate for the workplace on both of our blogs if I am not mistaken!

Truth be told, mine is hanging out again today. Happy Friday in the banking world!

Seansmoma said...

Okay, forgive me if I'm just this ignorant (or is it stupid?), but, what are google search terms?

Housewife Savant said...

Are you kidding me? (I'm new to this segment.)
How do you FIND this shizz? It's hilarity with the delightful commentary. Thanks for that.

E. Sloane Cannon said...

Ok I have google analytics and I can't find information like that. I'm obviously doing something wrong/stupid. The coffee slut one cracked me up by the way.

Snarky A. said...

I can't believe hot neighbor asked someone else over!!! You totally did see him first...

kyslp said...

Coffee Slut and Anesthesia Flirting are both excellent band names!

How did these people function before Google? How did we all?

Matty said...

These are hilarious. I like your follow up comments to them.

kristi said...

LOL!

a corgi said...

your comments are the best part of this entry:) you have a great sense of humor!

(when I got onto your site today, I had an annoying Lego ad that wouldn't go away no matter how many times I hit the 'x' on the corner; didn't know if you were advertising on here or what, just wanted you to know in case you weren't aware)

betty

soulbrush said...

roflol, i dom't know if i am supposed to do that, but every time i read one of your posts, i do have a good laugh, after all, none of this shit will matter in 100 years!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Husband just asked what I was laughing about. From the next room. I was laughing that hard.

Michele said...

OMG... I know this is an older post, but I just had to comment.

This is HYSTERICAL! LOVE IT!!!
I thought about doing a similar post with all the weird hits we get.
Thanks for the late night chuckle!