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Friday, October 09, 2009

Why I skipped the employee appreciation picnic

  • My tummy has been upset for two days and the last thing it wants is hot dogs.
  • My tummy has been fat for a year and the last thing it needs is hot dogs.
  • I have horrid reflux and all you can offer me is hot dogs and beans?
  • I don't like any of you and I don't want to socialize.
  • Every time I leave my desk, you all want to ask me for free tech advice. This is not how I want to spend my lunch hour.
  • That's how much you appreciate me? You equate the value of my services to a free hot dog? I am SO filet mignon.
  • It's cold and dreary.
  • Did I mention the only food option is hot dogs?
For those reasons, I chose not to go. My lunch hour is unpaid so they can't require me to spend it at a work function.

Plus, I have blogging to do. Priorities!


Charis said...

Ugh! Company stuff is the worst - so boring and awkward. I would've skipped it too :) I hope you did something fun instead!

Matty said...

I sense that you don't want hot dogs, that you don't like anyone there, and that you don't give free advice. But that you like to blog. Am I on target here?

Autumn said...

Woo Blogging!! Ick hot dogs. Cant stand them, they give me headaches (well the loads of msg in them give me headaches) once or twice a year I crave them but other than that no thanks!
You should give them all really bad advice like "Oh that's a virus you'll have to reinstall windows using your boot disk, no you cant save any of your old files it's too late for them, just save the computer!" lol. They'll stop asking. OR say something like "Gee I dont know, I've never heard of a problem like that before! Maybe a free hot dog will cheer your computer up!" haha.

jabblog said...

I've never understood why the people 'in charge' assume that because people work together they're going to want to socialise. Team-building? No thanks!

SparkleFarkle said...

Nothing says "I appreciate the work you do" better than weiners on an open spit. Actually makes you want to spit, dudn't it?

Just say Julie said...

We get hamburgers and chips once a semester. And last year they brought us cupcakes and a styrofoam cup of water to appreciate us coming back after Thanksgiving. It's nice to know you're worth, huh?

Janet L. Nowlin said...

I agree that hot dogs are not exactly over-the-top exciting. Of course, at my job everyone gets excited for any sort of free food so we'd all be down there eating the hot dogs anyway. :)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

See, I'm a whore for free food.

Although...when it comes to hot dogs, I prefer to cook them myself. I don't trust hot dogs other people have handled (minus the manufacturers).

The only notable exception is ball park hot dogs. When I'm at a baseball game, I want hot dogs.

My company gives us cake. I am probably not worthy of that.

Grand Pooba said...

Don't you know everything tastes better when it's free?

hot dogs included.

InMyOwnZoo said...

I know someone who's company spent a week on teambuilding exercises- aka playing games- then the very next week laid off half of the team.
Hotdogs to me are in this same realm of company love.

Belle said...

What, hot dogs don't say "I appreciate you"? Note to self.

Princess Andy said...

i HATE work functions also.

always worrying about who to go sit next to, blah blah blah.

plus, the kitchen inmates stare at you.

with stink eye:(

i LOVE hot dogs, though...even if they don't love me.


Smellyann said...

Too funny! Love this post. And ick, hot dogs.

Bubbie said...

Soooo real and funny!

soulbrush said...

blogging takes priorities over the rest of my life these days. prefer it to people! don't go to any work socials, they bore me silly!

slacker-chick said...

Consider yourself lucky - I once worked at a small company that "treated" everyone to a company camping trip every year. I AM A PRINCESS, I DO NOT CAMP! (But, they went all out on the food I have to admit).

Yaya said...

I hate stupid work functions. Not that I have any, but my husband does and I hate going to those.