Yeah, that about sums it up.
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me: You have to come home right now, the neighbor broke our pear tree!
me: Angry Neighbor attacked our pear tree and chewed off the branches! And then he LEFT them, in our yard!
Joe: Wait, hold up.
me: I almost went down there and punched him in the face but I thought I'd let you do it. But if you want me to, I have a migraine and I'm totally up for punching him in the face.
Joe: He didn't do it. I trimmed the branches before I went to work this morning.
SomeMonkey: what are you doing?And there you have it. The true story of how I totally sent Joe a text that I'd been peed on.
me: rewashing laundry
they were already washed once but on the floor in a pile (where i sorted them)
when I just picked them up, a yucky (not sure if you've eaten recently) fell out of them and so now they are back in the wash
SomeMonkey: uh... a cat contribution?
SomeMonkey: okay, I was concerned
me: it fell on my foot
I washed my foot, THEN the laundry
me: haha, I should text Joe that i got barfed on
last week, we got free tix to the Dave Matthews Band concert
these tix included backstage passes, which included free food/drink
SomeMonkey: how'd you score them?
me: his work got them from a client
we somehow missed the food (it was gone already)
so I had two beers and a vodka/cranberry for dinner
I was drunk fast, empty stomach and all
I went out to the ladies room and somehow dropped my shorts on the floor, in a pee puddle
me: so I txt'd Joe that I got peed on
and he replies "?"
me: "on da floor"
me: "i got peed on on da floor"
him: "why r u on the floor? where r u?"
him: "u sure?"
it was an awesome exchange, reading it back sober the next morning
guess he thought someone actually peed ON me and he was trying to figure out how that happened in the women's bathroom
so if I txt him now that I got barfed on... full of win
Time for another Six Word Saturday post. For those that missed the first post last week and are wondering "what the heck is Cate on about this time?", clicky click.
Emotionally out of sync with world.
A brief explanation - there's been a lot of illness, loss of jobs, and other bad news/stress for friends this week. And this comes at a time when I received (mostly) positive medical test results, Joe and I both continue to be employed (he survived layoffs), and there has been major progress on a house/building project that has been held up for months. It was also a good blogging week. A million things to be happy about but I'm feeling slightly guilty and very concerned for some of my pals. My timing is never right.
As always, I'd love to see your Six Words if you're inspired to share!
P.S.:At Deb's suggestion, I'm going to try out this whole Mr. Linky thing for Six Word Saturday. Thanks, Deb! You're more than welcome to leave your Six Words in the comments but if you'd like to post a link to your own blog, we'll give this a shot!
Not so much my own accent (I was raised in Upstate NY and have picked up a bit of Southern twang over the past 8 years) but my complete and utter failure to understand a lot of accents when others are speaking to me. Especially if they're speaking quickly. And hot.
Also bad - Britney Spears' British accent. What was that?!?!
I'm not going to name names but some of my least favorite accents belong to folks I've met since moving to the South. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some lovely southern accents out there. Matthew McConaughey comes to mind.
But I'm talking about the ones from the "real" south. The ones that have lived here for generations, practically speaking their own language because their accents are so thick. They say things like:
It just drives me bonkers. I have one coworker in particular that I can hardly understand. Though since he's on the phone literally 10 times a day with his wife and kids (but that's for another post), I get a lot of practice listening to his voice.
What and who are your good, bad and ugly accents?
Stressful week but we survive unscathed.
And, honestly, the idea had not occurred to me, such was my mental state. Maybe he shouldn't have suggested me handling sharp objects. It's possible that he was considering calling the cops as well because I'm pretty sure he followed me around until I left to make sure I didn't do something I shouldn't. Like squeeze the Charmin.
me: I need help.
Grocery store dude: What can I help you find, ma'am? (urgh, "ma'am")
me: I need, umm, the stuff I get with chicken wings.
dude: Ranch dressing? (stupid Southerners with their Ranch dressing. Blue cheese!!!)
me: No, the green veggies I get with my chicken wings. You know... (I make hand gestures indicating the basic dimensions of celery)
dude: Celery? Celery is right over here.
He takes me to the bags of celery, which is not what I want.
me: No, I need them, you know, like with my wings. Chunky. (more hand gestures)
dude: Huh? Do you mean cut up?
dude: We don't have any pre-cut.
me: I guess I'll have to go somewhere else.
dude: You know you can buy it in the bag and cut it yourself?
Hosts for the day will share history, art, tours of Washington DC, teas, lunches, trivia, lore and, of course, Inaugural Balls! Perhaps there will be a play or movie at the historic Ford Theater, or fireworks at the Washington Monument or a visit to the Smithsonian! Wherever your imagination leads you. Please plan to participate and post anything you wish for the day. What will you wear, prepare? Who will accompany you to the ball?It should be fun so check it out!
I have a confession to make... I'm terrified of car flags.
You know, those flags that people insert over their windows to support their favorite sports team? They may think it's harmless but they never give a second thought to the fact that they could totally poke an innocent bystander's eye out. It's all in fun until someone ruptures their spleen!
I've found I can't follow a vehicle with one of those flags for more than 30 seconds before I'm judging whether I can pass them or take an alternate route to my destination. I envision the flag tearing off their car, becoming a projectile missile, piercing my windshield before poking a hole in my brain.
Yes, I do realize this is probably what some would refer to as an irrational fear. But for me, it's all too real.
Which leads me to the most horrifying local news story of 2008. Our hockey team decided it would be awesome to give away car flags this year - first to all of the season ticket holders, and then to everyone attending opening night. Total distribution was probably around 25,000 flags. This resulted in car flags everywhere locally - often multiple flags on the same car! But it gets worse. The team went with a cheap vendor and the quality of the flags was poor. Causing them to break and fly off vehicles at speeds over 40 mph. Oh, how I wish I was making this up.
My worst nightmare - flags on every car, knowing my fright was now justified. And rather than feel vindicated that I was right all along, I was too busy being terrorized to issue I told you so's. Driving around town took on the vibe of a bad video game of dodging these eye-gouging team spirit spears.
Thankfully, most of the flags didn't even make it home from opening night before they were littering the highways. By the time Monday came around, most flags were long gone or removed by the owners. But for me, that first weekend in October was a very special kind of hell - with the silver lining of knowing that my fear is not unjustified. At least I was spared losing anyone close to me due to car flag-related injury.
When people say it's an honor just to be nominated, they lie. Or, at least, if *I* said that, it would be a lie. I want to WIN! So thanks to A at Snarky Much? for an award!
The award comes with a few rules: The honorees are to: A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.
Thanks A!!! Now, to see if I can think of 10 honest things interesting enough to share without boring you all to tears.
1. While unable to write with my left hand, years of typing and piano playing leave me pretty skilled. I'm equally as talented in using my feet and often find comfort in knowing that if I lost both arms in a tragic accident, I'd be just fine adapting to using my feet instead.
2. Ten years ago when I married Joe, I thought I was very ready for babies. Ten years later, I feel less ready and less sure about children than I ever thought possible.
3. I laugh when people say you can't run away from your problems. Because I moved hundreds of miles away from my family to escape them and with Caller ID, it (almost) totally works.
4. My life was so boring growing up in the sticks that I would make up stories to tell my friends hoping they'd think I was cool. I developed such a habit of
lying manipulating creativity that I still have to consciously remind myself sometimes that it's not ok. In some ways, I write so I don't lie to real people.
5. My little brother once named a hamster after my then-boyfriend, Ben. Shortly after Ben cheated on me and ruined my 14-yr-old life, the hamster died. (I swear I had nothing to do with it!) And I thought it was kinda awesome.
6. I once cheated on a guy with his identical twin brother because it was less effort than trying to tell them apart.
Oh, oops, these are supposed to be 10 honest things, not 10 things that make you seem like a complete jerk. Sunday confessions aren't until tomorrow!
7. I grew up in a completely sheltered environment - small town with zero diversity and over-protective parents that freaked about everything. We never traveled or did anything cool. Now that I have the means to travel and experience things, which I totally love, my anxiety has prevented me from doing much of it. (I'm making progress on that though - I'm dying to go back to Europe.)
8. I was in high school show choir, which involved dancing, even though I'm still so uncoordinated that I can fall over while just standing completely still.
9. I am 30. And still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up but this isn't quite it.
10. I currently have 16 different blogs registered (13 on Blogger, 2 on Wordpress, 1 privately hosted). Of those, 8 have absolutely no content, 4 are from abandoned projects, and 1 is a new project I was excited about a week ago and now I have no idea what I was thinking. The three actually in use are my "real life, sanitized for family and acquaintences" blog, "scream at the world and then move on" blog, and this one. My favorite? This one. By far.
I hope that wasn't too boring. Or random. And that I didn't do it wrong.
Because now I'm totally going to do it wrong. I don't know 7 bloggers that haven't already been awarded. So instead, I'm going to make it a point to give random comment love to 7 bloggers I've never visited before and spread some love that way instead. Hope that's alright!
I may be back later with a very short post. We'll see how the day goes.