This Saturday, the weather was nice and cool so Joe and I took off to the trail for a run. I hadn't run all week, spending my time instead preparing for the trip. However, the conditions were too perfect to pass up.
I was about half a mile in when I just decided I didn't want to run anymore. As in, not just for today. But anymore. Period.
When I started running again back in January, I was hopeful that maybe this would be the time I finally managed to reach my goal of a nice 5k. It's not a crazy goal by any means. I did okay until that guy ran over me with his pony, but then I lost my courage. And not long after that, I felt like my lungs were no longer able to provide my body with the oxygen it needs.
You see, I'm carrying a lot of extra weight right now. And running with that is frustrating. My pace and progress are far inferior to other times I've done the c25k program. And the more times I find myself frustrated and cutting short a run, the more I think of the calories I could be burning doing other cardio activities.
A wise woman (C. Beth) wrote a post almost a month ago that really made an impression. It was called "Do I Really Want That?" and encouraged readers to think about their "I'd like to..." statements.
I keep saying "I want to run" but do I really? I see the benefits that Joe derives from his running - stress release, peace, weight management - and I want those things. My biggest reason for doing any kind of exercise though is to lose weight - and running really isn't doing that for me.
At least, not right now. I stopped running on Saturday and talked with Joe for quite a bit on the long walk back to the car about why I didn't want to run anymore. He shared that he and his running buddies had a similar conversation recently about how none of them are interested in being elite runners - they just want to fit as many miles into their life as possible and enjoy it. Not everyone has the same goals. He's awesomely supportive - running with me when I want to, encouraging me to instead go to the gym if that will make me happier.
And so, after the trip, I'm heading back to the gym. I'm going to make good friends again with the elliptical. I'm going to spend quality time with my recumbant bike at home. I'm going to take long walks with my husband after dinner.
But I'm done running.