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Friday, May 07, 2010

Umbrage Not Umbros

Now that I'm comfortable with the fact that my gym relocated, I'm trying to make more of an effort to workout and lose some of my extra weight. Because, honestly, my body has become ridiculous. I think if I wrote my autobiography, I'd call it:
How Handling My Anxiety Made Me Fat And Caused Depression
Like I said, ridiculous.

And I'll admit that I'm self-conscious at the gym. That's why I was looking for the dark workout room. I don't want people looking at me sweat and jiggle and be generally unpleasant to the eyes. Since most of my gym clothes don't fit so well at the moment, I went along with Joe to the running store recently.

What a mistake.

Apparently women are only allowed to run or workout if they can fit into a small or medium. So basically, if your body looks decent enough that you don't need to workout, then you're allowed to workout. If you're bigger than that, I can only assume that they expect you to workout naked or just go ahead and die already of your bigness. This also applies to bras, by the way. And any hopes I had of finding some pants or long shorts? I could wear a pair of Joe's boxers and enjoy more coverage.

Eventually, I did find a bra that would work (though it was my least favorite style of the four they had to choose from) and bought a mens shirt. It's not pretty or purple but it's comfy and roomy and will help me get the job done.

And when the job is done? When I've lost enough weight to fit into those smalls and mediums and barely-there shorts? You can bet I'm going to wear them.

P.S. I realize everyone - all shapes, sizes, ages - benefits from regular exercise. I also realize that just because someone fits into a small or medium, it does not mean that they are healthy or fit or feel good about themselves.

P.P.S. Someone told me that maybe the reason the larger sizes were sold out is because EVERYONE buying merchandise in that store is in the same situation I'm in. Maybe there are plenty small and medium sizes because those people don't exist. Like the Tooth Fairy. Or Ron Paul.

P.P.P.S. I expected selection to be limited at this small specialty shop. I just figured I'd try to support the "little" guy before heading to the big box stores.

11 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

I have told my hubby this same thing many times. Why is it that the people who frequent the gyms are models? What kind of place invites people with real bodies who NEED to work out to get fit? Where is such a place for us regular people? That is why we work out at home. Good idea getting the mens shirt. Good luck.

Jessica said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. How depressing is it to go into a store to look for clothes because you want to start working out and change your lifestyle and then only find teeny tiny super model outfits.

Thanks a lot fitness store. I'm gonna go home and drown my sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Nom Nom Nom.

Angela Cooper said...

LMAO at PPS explanation #2. I'm glad you found something comfy to get the job done.

Toriz said...

That's why - where possible - I go for guy's clothes for that sort of thing. Apparently guys are allowed to be bigger (either that, or so many of them don't accept that they are, that they cram themselves in to the smaller sizes, leaving the bigger ones for me to buy and wear).

The tooth fairy doesn't exist? Well, thank you very much for spoiling my illusions! I suppose you're going to tell me that Santa Claus doesn't exist either? And the Easter Bunny? What did I ever do to you!

C. Beth said...

1. You're right that small people aren't necessarily in shape. I was small before I got in shape.

2. Have you tried Roadrunner Sports? Awesome. Free shipping if you buy a VIP membership (which is only $2.) I found some good deals on running shorts, and because they're such a big company I'm guessing their selection would be good. Locally I found FANTASTIC clearance deals on shirts and a bra at Academy. (But yeah, I know--big box store. No one ever came by to offer help.)

3. I think you're awesome for getting back into working out. I mean, you were already awesome before that, but now you're awesome-er.

4. BOOYAH SWEAT!

5. That is all.

C. Beth said...

P.S. I just realized how snotty "I was small before I got in shape" sounded. Sorry--what I meant was that I was one of those small people who wasn't in shape.

Princess Andy said...

at first i was like "why is she talking about ron paul...and isn't he dead...and what a weird comparison". but then i realized that i was imagining ron popeil, you know...the food gadget inventor guy? because i'm a dumb canadian and i had to google who ron paul is. and even now i don't really, but whatever.

also, wear whatever you want to go to the gym...being comfortable is the key! and yay for you for the motivation to go...me, not so much. but we don't have gyms in buttfuckville, so i'll just have to run through the woods. not at night, tho.

coyotes and sleeping deer and stuff.

<3 andrea

Caty said...

guys clothes are more comfortable anyway no matter what size you are. they actually make their clothes to work out in. women's work out clothes seem based more on how little material they can use and how stylish (no matter the comfort or utility) they can get them. Good luck with your work out...you'll be wearing those "little" shorts for the non-existent small to medium women in no time!!

Ronnica said...

I think the larger sizes always go first. Stores haven't quite figured out just how fat we are.

Ronnica said...

And I do recognize the irony of reading this post while eating an ice cream sandwich.

Traci said...

Somehow I fit into most mediums for a lot of things, but I still have lots to lose (75). We do exist.