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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

How to Do Neighborhood Recon

Our neighborhood has a Google Group that was created years back when we were fighting the Big Bad (Undisclosed) City over a nuisance nearby. We won that battle and the email group is now mostly used for people who've misplaced their cats.

However, over the weekend, this email came out:
We're planning on hosting a neighborhood 4th of July party in the culdysack [sic, also sick]. Please let us know if your family will attend.
Nice, a little neighborhood togetherness. Considering our subdivision completely ignores each other unless we're fighting The Man (or whispering about Angry Neighbor), this is probably a good idea. Because I totally couldn't pick any of my neighbors out of a line-up. I don't know these people. Sad, maybe. Or a testament to the times. Whatever, it's the truth.

But here's the awesome part. The responses:
  • We will be out of the country from the 1st to the 10th and unable to attend
  • We'll be at the beach that weekend
  • I'll be around because I'm dogsitting for the Andersons next door while they're out of town
  • I live alone and will be on assignment for work in Boston for the entire month of July. Maybe next time
What's truly brilliant about this is that there's no real verification process for being added to the list. Ask and your email will be added and access granted. There's no double-checking, no removing of people who move out.

So if you're a crafty crook, you just pose as a neighbor, get on the list, and invite everyone over. Then you wait for all of the people to respond with exactly when they'll be out of town and you can rip them off.


P.S. Not that I'm paranoid or anything.
P.P.S. Our alarm system is on.


Toriz said...

Excellent... That's 4 possible places anyone could break in to (unless the ones who live next door to the Andersons are paying proper attention to what's happening next door).

See, now all I'd have done is said, "sorry, can't make it," if I couldn't come and was out of town. Much safer, because that could mean I'm not around, but it also could mean I have people visiting. Then again, it could also mean that I've just been in hospital and I'm not feeling up for it. Where as, "I'm out of town," is as clear as can be... It means, "my place is empty, so now you all know... You don't know where the spare key is, I hope!"

Traci said...

OH my gosh I would be paranoid too. That's creepy. Perhaps someone could be the watch dog for the group. Delete old people and such.

blognut said...

This presents a perfect opportunity for you to launch that whole Neighborhood Watch initiative in your subdivision.



Princess Andy said...

i'm glad i don't have neighbours anymore due to the whole "i live out in buttf#*kville now" thing.

i just see the guy from one acreage over walking around in the woods with barbed wire every now and then.

now *that* is creepy.

but i'm SURE the dog will protect me. he is quite the intimidator. (not)

<3 andrea

April Mechelle said...

That is like my friends on facebook says: Headed to the beach for a week or leaving tomorrow to visit relatives in spain. I live in a small community that we all know every and where they live. We do still have our Jail birds that rob people!!! LOL

holly said...

I would totally go "Home Alone" robber on your neighborhood if you would only disclose your location.

Too bad you're so much smarter than your neighbors.

Brenda Susan said...

I know. I've wondered about that when people post their vacation plans all over FaceBook! It would be so easy to figure out where they live.

maybe it's time to change professions!

Eric said...


'Sorry, I'll be too busy at home practicing the loading and unloading of my assault rifle collection, maybe next time.'

C. Beth said...

If you're really sneaky, you could have a nice new TV after the 4th. Maybe even a cool lawn mower and some jewlery (sic) too!