Today, I try something new with this award. I'm not even sure it's technically possible, but I'm determined to find out.
Dearest Thou Whom We Call Cate,
You know that fruit gives you a tummy ache in the morning so why do you eat it? You asked Joe to make you a nice fruit smoothie breakfast, which he happily did because he knew it would please you (and also because the packets make two servings so he wins as well). Then you drank it on the way to work, only to be sick upon arriving. Ninety minutes later, you had to go crawling home because you felt so sick, which made Joe feel bad even though he was not at fault.
Drinking the smoothie became a domino effect, including a call at home from the Drama Llama, I supposed to make sure you were actually at home sick. Or, maybe just to whine and cry and make more drama because he can't leave it alone.
This, in turn, gave you a major angry again about work. And sunk you even deeper into this big ole pit of depression you can't seem to climb out of.
Next time, don't drink the smoothie. Don't even think about drinking the smoothie. Greasy fastfood biscuits or bacon are clearly a more acceptable offering to your morning hunger.
Just say no to evil fruit,
P.S. Knock off the referring to yourself in the third person crap. You hate when other people do it so no more!