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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Note to Self

Today, I try something new with this award. I'm not even sure it's technically possible, but I'm determined to find out.

Dearest Thou Whom We Call Cate,

You know that fruit gives you a tummy ache in the morning so why do you eat it? You asked Joe to make you a nice fruit smoothie breakfast, which he happily did because he knew it would please you (and also because the packets make two servings so he wins as well). Then you drank it on the way to work, only to be sick upon arriving. Ninety minutes later, you had to go crawling home because you felt so sick, which made Joe feel bad even though he was not at fault.

Drinking the smoothie became a domino effect, including a call at home from the Drama Llama, I supposed to make sure you were actually at home sick. Or, maybe just to whine and cry and make more drama because he can't leave it alone.

This, in turn, gave you a major angry again about work. And sunk you even deeper into this big ole pit of depression you can't seem to climb out of.

Next time, don't drink the smoothie. Don't even think about drinking the smoothie. Greasy fastfood biscuits or bacon are clearly a more acceptable offering to your morning hunger.

Just say no to evil fruit,


P.S. Knock off the referring to yourself in the third person crap. You hate when other people do it so no more!

7 comments:

Georgina Dollface said...

I can get carried away drinking fruitie things that give me a tummy ache too. I love icey-citrus drinks but they leave a hole in my stomach lining if I don't eat a meal with them. - G

Grand Pooba said...

Fruit does the same thing to me!

That's why I say it's better not to eat it. That and vegatables.

Greasy Mickey D's all the way!

C. Beth said...

Yikes! I was so busy yesterday I missed most of this on Twitter. (Assuming you were Tweeting it!) I'm sorry. What a rough day. :(

I think it's totally arrogant to refer to yourself in the third person.

Instead, we prefer to use the "royal we." We think it's such a great way to make us look cool. Do you agree with us?

silver star said...

It's bad when greasy, unhealthy food doesn't make you sick, while healthy stuff does. I have some kind of citrus intolerance (not sure if its an allergy or not), I get these painful sores in my mouth if I ingest oranges, limes, lemons, sometimes even things with those flavors slightly in them will make my mouth hurt. Artificial flavors don't always bother me, but keep the real stuff away!

Melinda said...

It really isn't fair to have problems with eating healthy things like fruit (or milk in my case). Not fair at all. I hope that you are feeling much better today.

Oh and you need to find out what annoys the Drama Llama and make it a daily part of your life. It will be fun.

Toriz said...

Next time you think of having a fruity breakfast... Don't! Fruit clearly isn't a good start to the day for you

JoyACookin' said...

OMG. If I couldn't eat a big bowl of fruit every morning I don't know what I would do. As I write this my bowl contains no less than eight different fruits. Your fruit intolerance makes me truly sad. Is it God's perverse sense of humor that junk food feels good to the body yet the good stuff doesn't? I had no idea there was so much suffering going on in the world. Did your mom eat a lot of Twinkies when she was pregnant? I must pray for all of you in this sad little boat. French fry?