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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Creative Income Generation

You're welcome. For what? I deleted about six paragraphs of whining that you didn't really want to read. Even though it's my blog and I can write anything I want. BANANA MOTORCYCLES! KANGAROO MOSQUITOES!!! See?

Anyways, I would like to go back to school because my job sucks. This is to escape my crazy Drama Llama boss and some breathing-down-my-neck upper-level management and to maybe preserve a bit of my sanity. Like there's any left. At one point I thought I could quit my job for the Fall and go take classes full-time. Except Joe says there are these stupid things called money and bills and adult responsibilities. So scratch that.

Still, I thought about my ability to handle full-time work and a full classload. I expect it will go something like this:
  • Cate starts classes
  • Cate is excited for one week
  • Cate is struggling to keep up with assignments
  • Work starts putting on crazy stress
  • Cate realizes she's talking about herself in the third-person again
  • Someone says "could care less"
  • Cate ends up rocking back and forth in a corner singing "Every Breath You Take" and eating cat hair
I'm assuming at that point, I might have to quit the job.

Joe estimates we could survive for 3 months if I gave up eating somehow managed to bring in at least 50% of my current salary. I immediately set out thinking of other ways to make money. Here are my ideas so far:
  • Sell organs (research market values)
  • Pimp Tonya
  • Yardsale for my slightly-drooled-on stuffed animal collection
  • ???

I'll admit, it's not a very good list - yet.

Actually, selling organs might be a good one. See, I still have my appendix, tonsils, and spleen. And since people are always having those things removed (my mother had her appendix out just last month!), there's probably a big market for them. Right? Right?

Okay, yeah, I'm still working on it.


Micael "Rabbit" Chadwick said...

If you come up with anything, let me know. The best I have thought up thusly is selling asslicks for a buck on the corner of Desperation and Whine...

Shirley said...

I hope you figure it out. When you do let me know. Cause right now I'm working part time and will be going to school part time next month. Which I'm sure will super suck for stuff like sleeping and having fun.

Toriz said...

Is there a way you can work a few less hours, and then use those hours for schoolwork?

Just a thought.

Or, you could do a class that involves making stuff, and then after you've shown it to your teacher, sell it for food money.

Again, just a thought.

C. Beth said...

Still have both kidneys?

C. Beth said...

Oh, and I find myself shocked that your BlogHer checks aren't paying ALL your bills by now. ;-)

Betty said...

I was going to say kidney´s, but then Beth already did... :)
Hope you come up with a plan!

Grand Pooba said...

Hmmmm, I'm with Intense Guy!

Debbi said...

Tell Joe to donate sperm. Let HIM make 50% of your income, by, " im- cum". LOL. ew. I can't believe I typed that. Still, funny.

holly said...

when you come up w/something that works on Joe, let me know what it is and I'll try it on Steve.

This is what happens to us who don't have the "kids to raise" excuse like all the other women.

Caty said...

I'm sure you'll come up with a great list, but the vision of you in a corner chewing on hair and singing every breath I take was hilarious!

That corgi :) said...

LOL, I was reading Intense Guy's comment. I feel for you; hubby is in a similar position at his work place, hates it, lots of stress, but since he is the main breadwinner, he's got to stick around until something else comes along. I think we would be 3 months too before poverty struck. If you do find something do post it because I'm seriously thinking of something part-time

good luck!!!!


Jeanie said...

There's a lot to be said for the cats getting out there and doing their part. Adult responsibilities sure can get in the way of life sometimes. Aargh!

Whitney said...

What about those work-from-home, on-line gigs? I always get the e-mails saying it's easy-as-pie...but I don't actually know anyone that does it...

You could always give Plasma. I'm pretty sure they pay you for that junk.

Tiffany said...

Well you could do the work at home thing (even though you'd still be working and probably not make as much) - West is a company that is totally legit but it takes a few months to get hired.

You could sign up to be a surrogate but I'm not sure that would lead to less stress.

Kaylen said...

I want a work from home job too. I need to supplement my income to pay for a much desired trip to Europe to celebrate my sons high school graduation next year. And then I'll need 3X as much income to pay for my son's college bills.

So....once you figure something wonderful out, please let me know!