I did it yesterday. The worst possible thing. The thing I had avoided for almost 9 years.
Yep, I cried in front of my boss.
A few years back, I had a narrow miss when I had to leave the room abruptly but this time I was trapped and I couldn't stop myself. And I'm not talking tears in the corners of my eyes. I mean the lower lip quiver, tears streaming, sobbing and can't speak cry. The ugly cry.
This situation was similar to last time - I was angry. SO angry and trying desperately to hold it in because I knew it was best to keep my mouth shut but instead I ended up bawling like a girl. I really don't know which is worse - expressing the angry or losing control of the cry.
The leave I mentioned yesterday is still on though it's somehow turning into a situation that means working here three days a week is going to be more stressful and horrible than working here five days a week.
Numb is the best word for how I'm feeling right now. Still some angry. And a lot of frustration because even when things seem to go my way, they don't end up going my way.