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Friday, August 27, 2010

Murdering Cats

I can't believe how strongly some of you feel about murdering cats. Everyone's so sure to clarify that they, personally, have NEVER murdered a cat.

Obviously, none of you have tried to work at home in the company of Tonya.

As previously reported on this here blog, I've been working my tushie off both on classes and on this ridiculous project for the office. The work project is so insane that the boss has actually allowed me to work from home additional days each week to decrease the number of interruptions that he insists on causing.

Instead, I have the distraction of one not-so-small fluffy cat named Tonya. As I work downstairs, I hear her throughout the day jumping on and off the dresser upstairs. It sounds a bit like the world is ending and meteors are bursting through the ceiling. Then, there's the meowing. She's in mourning (I'll let her fill you in on that next week) and cries constantly. Meowwwwwwwww. MEOwwwwwwwwwww. MEOWWWWW!!!

Because I came into the office yesterday and she wasn't able to stalk me during my waking hours, she made sure to get revenge by barfing on the (new) bedroom carpet around 4am. I don't think it's a coincidence that she chose my side of the bed.

So, yes, while on first glance "murdering cats" may seem like a harsh action, you must understand where I was coming from when the words spilled forth from my fingers. I invite any of you to spend a day at House O' Cate, Location Undisclosed with this particular cat and tell me the idea wouldn't at least cross your mind.

P.S. I never wanted this to be a cat blog.

P.P.S. Thought cornering the market on a "murdering cat" blog might be kind of cool.

P.P.P.S. No, she's not mourning the passing of Rusty. He's fine. It's just that he spends his days curled up either on the sofa or the back porch being good.

PETA.P.S Back off. No cats were harmed in the writing of this post (or any other). No cats will EVER be harmed on my watch. However, meat will be eaten. Not cat meat.


Diane said...

Smiling at you...... :O)

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

There's a little plaque over my front door that reads:
'This is the cat's house, We just pay the mortgage'...maybe you need one of those signs?

Toriz said...

I've had a couple of cats who have pushed me to the point where such thoughts enter my mind briefly too. I would never actually do it, but when things like cats pooping in your clean laundry, which you just left for a moment after pulling out of the washing machine because you had to pee happen... Well, it gets tempting!

Brooklyn Book Lover said...

Thanks for making me smile today. :-)

Princess Andy said...

i think maybe tonya is just vocalizing her appreciation of you being home more of the time.

cats a, b, and c live out in our workshop and roam the acreage killing random critters smaller than them...but i do get a lovely hairball puke to pick up every so often, too.

the only difference is that MY cat vomit just has bits of partially digested mice in it.

mmmm...snack time.

<3 me.

silver star said...

I love when our cat pukes, especially when she does it in one of her hiding spots. Our cat also likes to get on our keyboards and walk around, pushing buttons, and messing with the mouse on my laptop, so at least Tonya and Rusty aren't physically distracting you. My arm's still recovering from when I let her sit in my lap while I used my laptop.

Home School Dad said...

It sounds like you coulld easily get the charge reduced from murder to catslaughher. Although cat slaughter does not sound better. I always say of you are going to give me a cat make sure it comes with a recipe.

Melinda said...

Nothing wrong with threatening your fur-babies now and then. We tell Mason we are going to make him into Pug-sausage when he is annoying. Doesn't mean that we love him any less. We just would love to go 10 minutes without random barking at invisible objects being the soundtrack to our life.

C. Beth said...

I think the concept of murdering cats is funny.


Kaylen said...

My girl cat takes revenge by puking on my carpet within 12 hours of me shampooing it (which I only do after I can't stand the stains from the last time she puked on it). She also likes to puke in the dark hallway when she knows I'm in a hurry and am going to just run inside for one thing...

And our other cat cries for water in the bathroom. It's creepy. He also likes to sit directly next to my head when I'm just starting to wake up (or maybe he's there all night)-and just stare at me until I get give him water.

Murdering cats is a fantasy we all have right? And I'm a potential crazy cat lady, so you know it's true!!