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Friday, August 13, 2010

Packing List

Once again, I am leaving on another trip full of family, anxiety, and vomiting adventure and fun! We're attending Joe's HS reunion and visiting a bunch of family on a whirlwind four-day weekend.

Because I have so much to do, and since SomeMonkey is such a good friend (and totally not an axe-murderer), she offered to make my packing list for me. Here's what she came up with:
12 mini bottles of gin
1 mini bottle of sweaty tonic
1 gigundo bottle of xanax
whore-eyes makeup
3 pairs of shorts
3 tops
6 pairs of underwear
that skanky dress
deodorant
sandals
1 regular bra
1 spectacular bra
the outfit you want joe to actually wear
kindle
25 dollar bills for strip club
2 bags pretzel m&ms
those badass baked potato chips from trader joe's
1 bumpit
Wow, really? What kind of list is that? Does she not know me at all?

"Sweaty tonic" is what she calls the tonic Joe likes because she can't remember the correct name. It's called "Fever Tree" so close enough.

I have no idea what's up with all the skanky clothes and make-up. A bumpit? My hair must've looked worse than I thought when we met for brunch if she thinks a bumpit would be an improvement.

The pretzel M&Ms are for Joe. And I'm pretty sure the chips are for her. Which means I'm supposed to survive on gin.

Yeah, I guess she does know me well!

P.S. I'll be gone Friday through Monday. I'll have Gwen though I expect to have limited coverage. Six Word Saturday will happen tomorrow as usual.

8 comments:

Melinda said...

I have to say that I really like this packing list, especially the part about the "spectacular bra" and the "outfit you want Joe to actually wear." The only thing you are missing are the Eff me shoes.

Hope you have a great trip.

C. Beth said...

Fantastic list, and so much shorter than my packing-for-three-for-2.5-weeks list.

So glad she remembered to put the Bumpit on there. If you forgot that, you'd have to turn the plane around. I need to remember to add that to my list too, along with the little gadget I use to put stick-on jewels in my hair.

April Mechelle said...

Loved the list!! That should be #1 list for all HS Reunions. LOL
Don't forget to put in the Aqua Net Hairspray to keep that Bumpit in place till you get back home !!!

Intense Guy said...

Hmm.. no teethbrush and paste and no breath mints...

...and yeah, hope you didn't forget the eff me shoes.

:)

Have fun youse silly!

Toriz said...

I want to say, "have fun," but... *Shrugs*... Is that really appropriate for your family vacations? Hmm.. Maybe just try and enjoy yourself as best as possible?

Princess Andy said...

that is one spectacular list.

she should start a small business...

and she must be a great friend to not forget the gigundo bottle of xanax.

she's a real keeper;)

Amanda @ Ramblings of an Empty Mind said...

That is one interesting list alight. :)

holly said...

hilarious.