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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Eleventy Bajillion Dollars - A Call for Help

That's how much I would pay for a dvr to control my dreams.

The first thing I'd do is set a global control for no repeats of certain episodes. I don't need to replay fighting with my parents or freakouts by the drama llama. Seriously, I resign from the position in part because I don't want to deal with his spazzing anymore and now I have to dream about it instead? The clear answer is the dream dvr.

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Okay, know what? I started writing this post a few days ago. Since then, I've lost my ability to try to make it into a cute blog entry. I no longer have a sense of humor about it. I'm so disgusted and frustrated by the contents of my dreams that I just want to cry. Some elements of my dreams are recurring and some of it is just completely out of nowhere and disturbing. They aren't nightmares in a traditional sense of monsters and disasters but it's more a visualization of me doing things that I would never EVER do.

I really think this has a lot to do with why I'm so sleepy all day - I wake up completely emotionally drained from the crap I'm dreaming about all night. It doesn't matter if I sleep 4 hours or 12. Beyond feeling tired, today I woke up aggravated and completely cranky about everything.

I've always had vivid dreams but it seems a lot worse lately. I haven't started any new medications with dreams as a side effect. Life is certainly a bit out of the ordinary since I'm not working but the only change that's made to my sleeping habits is the removal of a too-early alarm. That should be a good thing, right?

So how do I make it stop? This isn't something I can put a band-aid on or change my attitude about. Is it? How do you change your unconscious mind? I'm open to any and all suggestions. Even if they sound silly, because I'm just that desperate at this point. Please, how can I make it go away?

11 comments:

Melinda said...

I am sorry that your dreams are so disturbing. Maybe try meditating before you go to bed to clear your mind of any background stress and anxiety. Try researching dream meanings online in a dream dictionary. Maybe the dreams symbolism is less disturbing than you think.

I hope it gets better soon.

Diane said...

Is there a vitamin you might be lacking? I know my adrenals were off for a while and it was sleeping mayhem for me. :O)

Anella said...

Sorry to hear about this..

My partner has had HUGE sleeping problems. Not down to dreams/nightmares but just insomnia - his job involves a LOT of thinking & he is often still thinking about new ideas etc when he comes to bed.

MY dad passed away in October & it turned out that talking about it helped him clear his mind. You obviously have some things on your mind & just maybe need to let it out. If you don't, then maybe just try relaxing & clear your mind before bedtime.

Good Luck x

TortugaRachel said...

Have you talked to your doctor about this? I had the same symptoms and then discovered I have sleep apnea. It explained the sleepiness all day, the headaches when I woke, all of it. Sorry you're having such troubles.

Toriz said...

There's no guaranteed way to make it stop... I have dream issues too, and I can't make it totally stop... But I find it's not as bad if I'm mentally drained when I go to bed. In other words, I think your best bet is to do something that requires a lot of thinking and mental work shortly before bed. Another thing that "sometimes" works is to go to sleep listening to something that makes you think of other things... Audiobooks, music, the radio... That way you "should" (in theory, again no guarantees) end up either with your mind so tired out that you don't dream vividly enough to remember it, or so in to what you're listening to that you dream about that instead (like the time I dreamed about helping Harry Potter defeat Lord Voldemort after reading part of book 7 in the series before falling asleep). There's no guaranteed way to stop it happening though. At least, not to my knowledge.

Joanie said...

I think has a good suggestion. Get checked out.

I hate when I have dreams of work. I'm a server and I'll be delivering food all night and wake up exhausted.

Sometimes when I stay at John's, I find my ex in my dreams... even the ex's ewife has shown up! Talk about an unwelcome visitor!

The worst are naked in public dreams!

C. Beth said...

That SUCKS.

I agree, get checked out. But also as others have said...evaluate your pre-bedtime routine to make sure it's peaceful and positive.

Mim said...

Try the alarm again. I find that if I "oversleep" I dream crazy and very vivid.

TMC said...

Perhaps you need to talk about what's bothering you? Not here, but a journal or something? Sounds like there's a lot of unresolved stuff in your head that keeps hanging around.

Karen S. said...

Don't you think the month January has a lot to do with it? It seems about mid November life kind of takes the silly away and it takes spring to come along and put it all back together! During this low for me it's a good time to do all the things I love, or enjoy being a part of.....I spent one day this week just running around to some of my fave places, taking pictures, saying hello to a crabby mailman, got a laugh out of him when my comment back was supposed to be under my breath....and then went to visit an old customer that's been laid up and we both ended up feeling on top of the world! They say we are what we eat, well it's also true what we think will be ...so BE HAPPY! I tell myself this every single day.... ;)

Karen S. said...

Oh yeah, and I also find that FB can be like watching too many soap shows! ;)