I sit down to blog and the words stick. I debate how much to share and about what topics. I abandon posts in draft because I feel some obligation to my readers and some deep desire within myself to be funny or entertaining or at least light-hearted and I'm just not feeling it.
I've got a lot of stuff in my head right now and I'm wondering how best to deal with it all. Hmm, can the crazy dreams be that much of a coincidence? (Meditation before bed, btw, is helping a lot.) Sometimes I think that it's best not to give these fears and issues a voice; not ignoring them, exactly, but also not putting them down in black and white. Or is it a better idea to write them out, acknowledge, and then (hopefully) move on? Let it out or let it go?
Screw it. I started this blog over two years ago as a place I could be honest and voice those thoughts and fears openly. Anonymous in name but authentic in all else. And right now, I'm going through a lot of stuff. It's not big stuff in the scheme of the world. I have enough food, I have enough money, I have enough things. But I don't have enough peace or love or direction.
So, dear reader - and I mean that, because some of you have become amazing friends - I'm going to let it out, in hopes that it will facilitate letting it go. Also, maybe by letting some of these words out, I'll also be able to find some of that light-hearted face-punching first-fursdaying fun. Because I miss that, a lot.
I hope some of you will stick by me while I try to get back not only my blogging mojo but my life mojo. It's overdue but I feel like I've come as close to hitting bottom as I dare allow and I'm ready to fight my way back up.