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Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Punch in the Pain-Related Awards

Screw the flowery opening - let's just get to it, shall we?

Dear Medco,

If you don't soon figure things out and send me my no-baby pills yesterday, I am going to send you my first born when I get knocked up because you won't provide my birth control. I have been fighting with you for MONTHS now on the timing, which has put us into this horrible cycle of you won't send them in time so I have to refill them locally (which costs me more) and therefore you move the fill date out even further. And I'm sick of it. SICK SICK SICK.

Perhaps you don't understand how birth control works. Let me explain it to you. I need the new pills on March 6th. Mailing them on March 10th? That doesn't work. That just gets me pregnant. Having your automated male voice call to tell me you aren't sending my pills on time just REALLY cheeses me off. I'm not one to generalize and hate on all men, but you are really pushing my buttons.

You fail at math, you fail at prescriptions, you fail at customer service, and you fail at life.

Hope you have access to pain meds for when you receive this award,

Dear Thing Outside That Sounds Like a Dying Animal,

Judging from that noise, you must be a very large beasty, perhaps the lovechild of a rhinoceros and a donkey. Or perhaps you are some sort of construction equipment. Whatever the case may be, I feel bad but I must admit that I wish you would just hurry up and die already so I don't have to listen to it anymore.

I have a headache,


Diane said...

I'm sensing a little/ maybe a lot??? of angst..... Hugs and hope your days and nights get better soon. :O)

Melinda said...

If you get knocked up you can give the baby to me. I want one and my order hasn't been placed yet.

But seriously, that is messed up! I love how these companies don't give a rat about their customers. Just love it!

C. Beth said...

Wow, missing a couple of days of allergy meds is one thing; missing a couple of days of birth control can be a whole 'nother thing. Not good, Medco.....

Karen S. said...

Automated voies are worse, no wait, drive-thru non-english and noise crackling in the back ground while the automated it seems (live) person is attempting to obtain your order...we live in a world of dis-connect, and why when we are at our most vulnerable moments (my pills a necessity here) does it seems they leave us wanting the dark like nobody cares! Grrrrrrrrr! Time to 86 them and search elsewhere they don't deserve your biz!

TMC said...

stupid medco. that whole timing thing causes a lot of anxiety, don't they know that?

widcheezondat said...

Yeah, you tell 'em Cate! Nothing like a couple of punches in the faces to make everybody feel better. Woot!

I like 'cheeses me off' - can I use that?

Toriz said...

If the pills don't arrive in time, send the baby my way. I've been trying to get one of those for a while.

I hope the "dying animal" isn't an animal, but that it shuts up soon!