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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I Stole a Shirt

This weekend, we made a trip to our warehouse store of choice. We only go when we're desperately out of things, which makes the sting all that worse when we head to the cash register. But this time, I helped lower our total by stealing a shirt. Yep, a little five-finger discount in aisle seven.

Eh, am I fooling anyone? I like to think I'm a total bad-ass, but probably notsomuch. The truth is just so much less interesting and I'm trying to build up some street-cred so people will fear me once I put my plan for world domination in action.

Anyways, I was looking at their clothes and decided to buy two items (there's the bad-ass part - yeah, I buy clothes at a warehouse store from time to time!). The shirt was on a hanger. The sweater was not. In order to keep the two together and free of meat debris once we hit the food aisles, I placed the sweater on the hanger with the shirt. See, smart! And when I did this, I thought to myself that I should make sure to separate them once we hit the checkout so I didn't accidentally steal a shirt.

Fast-forward four hours later and we're finally done shopping and heading to the registers. I left Joe in line with the cart and made a quick dash to the loo so I wouldn't pee myself on the way home in his car. I'm so considerate!

I didn't think about the shirt again until I was helping load the car and saw them hanging there, still nicely intertwined. Uh oh. I checked the receipt and sure enough, I had stolen a shirt. Dammit!

Back to the store I went. I thought about trying to pretend I was from the corporate office, conducting field inspections to see how thoroughly employees were working to prevent shoplifting, but it was really my mistake and I didn't want to get the cashier in trouble. Plus, you know, it wasn't exactly truthful. Customer service thanked me for my honesty, charged me for the second shirt, and sent me on my way.

Exciting, really, living a life of crime. Now I can add "petty theft" to the list of skills on my resume. Any of you want to hire me?


Melinda said...

What a good person you are for going back to be honest. Although, if you want the street cred you should have just left it at you stole a shirt. A badass wouldn't tell anyone they went back to make it right.

Toriz said...

Definately the right thing to do; but definately not the right way to get street cred. ;)

Toni said...

You get points and cookies for going back to pay for the stolen shirt! :)

Fiona said...

I must of had you in mind when I posted today about the value of doing the honourable thing.

Hang the street cred, you did what you knew to be right.

I'd hire you in a heartbeat :)

Georgina Dollface said...

LOL! I've done similar absent-minded things in the past. Every time I went back to pay for the stuff I had accidentally pinched, the cashiers would look at me like I had three heads. They couldn't understand why I would come all the way back to pay for a 50cent plant hook. - G

widcheezondat said...

That's happened to me and when I go back to make it right I have this terrible fear that they'll accuse me of shoplifting it and won't believe it was an accident.

TMC said...


C. Beth said...

In order to give yourself even more street cred, you really should have used the term "cardigan" instead of "sweater."

TortugaRachel said...

I'd rather have honesty cred than street cred! Way to go for doing the right thing, although I did giggle at the opening paragraph!

Tami said...

Your honesty is admirable and encouraging. In our "look out for number one" society, it's nice to see someone do what's right - even when it's not what's easiest or most convenient.

upinthecosmos said...

LOL, it's only stealing if you don't go back! Most would get to their car & figure, eh... what the heck. But you were honest, no life of crime for you:-) Stop in & read Bathed in the Light

soulbrush said...

Not petty crime, large honesty, mm wonder what I would've done?

Linda said...

One time I was sick, so I ordered stuff from Kohl's for Christmas gifts and had them sent to me, even though I have a store right here in town.

Well....when they arrived there was a pair of cashmere socks in with the stuff, and I hadn't ordered them, nor had I paid for them.

I called to ask customer service to charge my account for them. And they acted as though I was crazy! They put me on hold and at one time told me to just keep them. But I said no I prefered to pay. Then they couldn't figure out how much they were and put me on hold again.

After about 30 min. they finally found out the price and charged me. And I felt better. I just didn't feel right keeping them.

I am sure you wouldn't have felt right keeping your shirt either Cate.

I am proud of you!

Thanks for your honesty.


Princess Andy said...

i stole a turkey once.

this is why i can never be president.

that, and the fact that i'm not american.