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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Where's Cate?

I haven't been blogging much lately and while I don't really feel like I owe an explanation (it's MY blog!), I'm going to give one. Mostly because I need to reflect a bit.

The week before Thanksgiving, we were all wrapped up in Joe's possible job offer. Which he ended up turning down.

The week of Thanksgiving, Joe had an emergency appendectomy.

The week after Thanksgiving, Joe was still recuperating and we were slowly returning to normal.

Last week, I got a nasty stomach virus, which put me in the hospital with dehydration, and then afterwards I was (and still sorta am) dealing with the remnants of the stomach virus.

Which brings us to this week.

I'm still having some virus-related issues and I'm exhausted.

I'm completely behind on my holiday plans, which involved making a lot of gifts because that's more thoughtful than placing Amazon orders off wish lists. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just that it's not what I wanted to do this year. Only, since I lost the better part of 4 weeks, I'm running out of time. So last night we went shopping at Ten Thousand Villages and took care of most of the gifts we needed to buy. It seemed like a great compromise between buying plastic crap and just making charitable donations in our families' names since they are selfish bitches who want presents, dammit will not get a gift and we've supported fair trade and people in developing countries.

But mostly what I'm dealing with right now is a ridiculous amount of anxiety relating to medical bills. I'm glad we have access to healthcare. I'm glad we have insurance. I'm glad Joe and I are both recovering from our unrelated ailments. I'm glad he's made smart financial decisions that mean we'll be able to set up a payment plan and be okay. Still, realizing how much we might end up owing with both of us being sick within 2 weeks of each other is causing a big huge mental funk. Add to that the usual depression I feel around the holidays and my mind is a bit of a mess.

So where's Cate? I'm here, but I'm struggling. I'm getting through each day the only way I know how - a mix of working furiously through my to-do lists and hiding under the blankets. I haven't been blogging. I didn't visit any 6WS posts this week. I'm having trouble finding the joy of the season.

That's where Cate is right now. On the edge but hanging on with all her might. And talking about herself in the third person.

Why did I share this? It's not that I want a million comments full of pats on the head and sympathy. I just want to serve as a gentle reminder that there are people out there right now who are fighting. Depression this time of year - between the weather, lack of daylight, and holiday expectations - is a big deal. If you're suffering from it, know you are not alone and we WILL get through it. If you're fortunate enough to not be suffering a down time, you can do two things for me: be grateful for your blessings and be kind to those around you because we may not all be feeling so blessed.

13 comments:

C. Beth said...

<3 you, Cate. :)

Linda said...

Hey Cate...sorry to hear of all that has been going on with you and the hubby with the sickness etc.

Thanks for the reminder to 'care' about others at this time of year...and to remember what Christmas is all about. There are A LOT of people out of work and hurting this year...in one way or another.

My granddaughter who is 19 told me that their family is going without presents this year to be able to help others. I thought that was amazing! (Of course grandma and grandpa will be giving them gifts...but I was so proud of her/ and them, for their decision!)

You take care!

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Karen S. said...

Oh Cate, don't ever worry about not visiting your blog...like you said it's your castle and you rule! I think this time of year lots of folks are just kinda busy and maybe a bit overwhelmed with all the giving, and buying and preparing and gotta do this and gotta do that...when you just have to stop, sit down and take a break from it all...yeah good old chocolate helps too....We all need those spaces....and as far as your blog...it seems to me anyway that not that many other fellow bloggers from 6WS got around either, so see you for sure get the BREAK of all time! After the holidays are over life will get back to normal again....!!! Take care of YOU! ;)

ThresholdMum said...

Warmest wishes and a speedy recuperation, take your time, there's no pressure from us out here.

I love the party you host on your site, it's a great thing you've brought into the world.

Seasonal greetingsxx

Toriz said...

Hang in there Cate; things will work out... They usually do in the end, one way or another! *Hugs*

I didn't end up doing as many homemade things this year either; time got away from me with moving, and then I wasn't well (still not too great; got rid of one issue to replace it with a head cold).

soulbrush said...

XxXxXxXxXx

That corgi :) said...

I hand't heard of Ten Thousand Villages, Cate, what a great site! I earmarked it to check out later.

I am so sorry; this end of year has not been a good one for you and Joe. The timing of both of your medical crises could not have come at a worse time.

I like the advice you gave to us who struggle with sadness or depression this time of year and those that don't. We will get through this indeed and we can only hope 2012 starts out better for you and Joe!

In the meantime, take care of yourself the best you can. And it is only money, don't let it get you down too much. A pastor and his wife would say that all the time whenever they had to spend something on unexpected things. It is only money. I think that often when I get on our account. It is only money. It will get paid off. Don't try to stress too much about it.

betty

John said...

Just so you know, my birthday is 5 days after Christmas, so my life has gotten me used to combined presents, so I won't be offended if my Christmas present arrives late this year.

:-p

(hugs) on the whole situation -- I hate the "I think we're going to be fine now..." and then *bam*, we're not.

I Am Not Superwoman said...

So sorry you are feeling so icky these past couple weeks. And I definetly feel your pain with the medical bills. Even with insurance sometimes they are still a bit overwhelming. Praying for you and your husband. And thanks for sharing the Ten Thousand Village website. Such an easy way to help developing countries. Try and take it easy so you can get back to your old self.

Melinda (Sew-Lin) said...

<3 you know I'm here for you, and know what it's like. Sending hugs, and wine.

Tami said...

There are lots of people in the same boat - and most not brave enough to speak out and admit to depression. Bless you for sharing!

NC Sue said...

Good morning!
I’ve included your site on a page I’ve put together devoted to hops, challenges, and memes for every day of the week! The link to that page is under my header. http://acts17verse28.blogspot.com/

Brenda Youngerman said...

not only are you NOT alone in this.... you are so brave to post this post and not delete it before you hit submit.
There are those that struggle with depression all year round and have nowhere to turn but a bottle with liquid or pills - be grateful you didn't go there!
Hang in there and know that at least you have the outlet of the blog to vent and rant and rave - and have people who care enough to comment back and say inane things :)