I recently celebrated a birthday. In general, I'm not a fan of birthdays. It's not so much the getting older that bothers me but I've had some really lousy birthdays over the years. Like the year I passed out in gym class. Or the year my boyfriend dumped me. That doesn't include the years I've battled severe depression the entire month of March because of the other memories my birthday brings. This was actually the best birthday I've had in a very long time.
This year wasn't a milestone birthday. 34. It seems harmless but 35 seems like a bigger deal. For some reason, I started thinking about a year from now and all of the things I don't want to think at that point. Like the fact that I'm so overweight. Or that I'm a writer who doesn't seriously write. There are a few other things but those two define so much of my life.
My plans for being 34?
I'm going to spend 34, a non-milestone year, preparing for an awesome start to 35. For whatever reason, 35 scares me a little bit so I'd like to be sure that when I kick it off, I'm doing so from a solid place. A healthy place. A place where I respect myself and the life I'm living.
I'm still not 100% sure how I'm going to accomplish all of this, though I'm working on it. I have some ideas for how I plan to lose weight. I'm not sure how to measure the writing angle but I feel like I'm making progress now and want to continue doing so. I'll reread my post from the beginning of the year about being mindful and try to follow-through on those ideas.
All I know is that when I look back right now at 33, I wish I had started then. If I had, things would be a lot different today. If I don't start making the most of now, I'm a fool. And I don't believe I'm a fool. And I most definitely don't want to be 35 looking back on 34 and feeling disappointed in myself for not living each day as if I'm worthy of an amazing future.
So, how to be amazing at 35? By being amazing at 34.
Here's to an amazing year!
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