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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Six Word Saturday


first weekend off in a month



Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).




Saturday, May 19, 2012

Six Word Saturday


can't blog when I'm so stressed

I did get my quiet weekend last time around. And I should get another this weekend. But I feel so unstable right now - I'm up, down, all over the place. There are things happening - potentially GOOD things - which means change which means I'm completely unfocused until things are more settled. And so the blogging plan falls apart.



Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).




Saturday, May 12, 2012

Six Word Saturday


THIS will be my quiet weekend

I write up my 6WS posts ahead of time so you don't all mutiny if I decide to sleep in on Saturday morning. This past week, I jokingly wrote (on Thursday) about wanting a quiet weekend and packing my xanax for the family trip. In case you missed it, here's how the weekend turned out. Yikes. I'll admit that as I prepare this post on Friday morning, I'm a little afraid that I may be jinxing my weekend with the words above. Let's hope that's not the case.



Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).




Monday, May 07, 2012

Let Me Count The Ways...

...that this past weekend's trip went very wrong. Some bigger than others.

  1. I was sick the night before (Thursday) due to anxiety
  2. Friday 4am wake-up call finds Joe bleeding from his belly button
  3. I bonk my head getting in the car on the way to the airport
  4. We arrive at destination around 11am instead of noon (my mistake) so Joe has scheduled lunch w his father for a time when I've committed to work
  5. I can't get my personal wifi to grab a signal from the car outside the lunch restaurant so I have to go searching for wifi
  6. I make it to lunch an hour late - they're done eating so I start shoving food in my face, at which point Joe says he needs to go to Urgent Care for the belly button
  7. Urgent Care puts stitches in Joe to stop the bleeding
  8. I end up very sick with a puking migraine all night (that's two nights in a row of no sleep)
  9. Can't get out of bed in the morning due to migraine, miss planned outing w family
  10. Visit w family spoiled by my lack of ability to sit upright (can't play w kids)
  11. Unable to enjoy the pizza we always order when we go home
  12. Broke the zipper on my favorite travel bag
  13. Joe busts his new stitches while playing with nephew, bleeding more than before
  14. Speak with on-call doctor from appendix surgeon's office back home in undisclosed location, he advises we change our flights and come home Sunday rather than Tuesday because putting in those extra stitches was the wrong thing for the Urgent Care to do
  15. Joe doesn't sleep the entire night because he's afraid of bleeding on our hosts' sheets (that's THREE nights in a row of no sleep)
  16. Cost to change flight - $250 per ticket, long layover
  17. Quick farewell tour that pisses off everyone so we can head back to the airport
  18. Layover extended due to mechanical problems on second flight
  19. No ground crew when we arrive at final destination means even longer delay
  20. Joe's house keys have somehow fallen into a hole in his jacket and we can't get them out to unlock the house
  21. I get spazzed by spiders trying to dig the emergency spare key out of the hidey spot
Also? I was supposed to be working the new gig all weekend and that went to hell. I'm so glad they are understanding. 

So, yeah. Not our best trip ever. There WERE good bits though and I'll maybe share those later. Or keep them for myself.

Joe will be fine but we have an appointment with the surgeon in a couple of hours. We both feel like hell physically and it sucks that we spent a boatload of money on a trip that we weren't able to enjoy and had to cut short. 

But we'll survive because it's what we do. The money sucks but it won't break us. And I'm happy for the time we DID get to spend with the kids/family, even if it was short and limited because we weren't feeling well. Also, when you feel like that, you just wanna be back to your own home - we slept well last night and I already feel less stress because we're back in our own world. As I told Joe last night, now we can work on fixing it all. 

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Six Word Saturday


I would love a quiet weekend

or, since we're away visiting family:

of COURSE I packed my Xanax!



Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. I love seeing what everyone does with their entries.

Each week (probably on Sunday or Monday), I use random.org to select a bunch of entries to visit.  Or I visit everyone. Or even numbered entries. Or odd numbered entries. Or multiples of three. Depends on what's going on that week.  In addition, please visit the person ahead of you on the list (or visit everyone if you like!). That way everyone receives at least one visit!

If you play along in your blog, please add a link to the Mr. Linky. I appreciate a link back (shiny code below if you like!). Otherwise, you're welcome to leave your six words in this post as a comment.

Please be sure to link either to your main page or (preferably) directly to the 6WS post. Links to blogs that do not contain a 6WS entry will be removed (sorry, just the button in the sidebar doesn't count as participating).





Thursday, May 03, 2012

NOT What I Meant!

Apologies in advance to my Twitter pals for this post - you got this about 24 hours before it hit the blog.

While doing ALL THE THINGS yesterday, I made a call to my grandmother about our upcoming trip and then tweeted about it while also doing about four other tasks. The result?



It was only after I had tweeted (and someone retweeted) that I realized it sounded like I was giving Gramma less than a week to live. I had meant it as a correction. "No, Gramma, we were NOT there last weekend and ignored you. I'm calling because we're coming THIS weekend and would like to find a time to visit."

Twitter is dangerous - I can do a lot of damage with those 140 characters! Including handing out death sentences to grannies!

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

I'm Tired

Today, a little stream of consciousness post because I need to clear my head. Or at least try.

Tired. I'm tired of being inside my head. I'm tired of the chaos in there.

Things are generally good right now! I'm happier than I've ever been. And that's the problem! How can "good" be a problem? Because stability has a lot to do with a steady base that can withstand the movement it experiences. And so if your base isn't strong, the best chances of staying level are if there isn't a lot of movement. So the more "good" I experience, the more movement to my weak base. I go UP and then my messed up brain thinks that rather than reset normal to UP, it's better to just swing way far to DOWN to kind of even things out.

Why can't we quit zigging and zagging and just walk a new straight line?

And so it goes that the more I experience happy, the more unsettled I feel. Why can't I just be happy and have that be a good thing?

My poor husband. There's no winning with me. I AM happy, dammit. I'm finding my way. Largely because of the freedom he provides to me. And I'm sure that to his well-functioning logical brain, I make no sense. That must be frustrating to him.

And to everyone. Probably you're tired of hearing about the insides of my head, whether you read it here, or on twitter, or in email, or I babble at you in person. You may think I have it made. "She quit her job. She doesn't work. She screws around all day and goes on a lot of trips and shops and is living the life." I try to hide a lot of of my imbalance. It either comes out in really short bursts or in big storms. I'm storming today. I don't know if I'll publish this or not but I just need to write it out.

I'm taking on new things. It's good. It's scary. It's an adjustment because it's different and there I go again all wobbly in my head. It's a choice (or a bunch of choices) I'm making to deliberately put myself off-balance. I need to keep pushing. I need to get stronger. I need to make progress. I need to KEEP making progress - I don't know when I'll be done or fixed - but the more I struggle, the more it's a sign that I'm making forward movement. I hope when my husband is frustrated with me that he can remember a time not THAT long when I couldn't leave the house without getting sick. When I wouldn't go out to do anything. When I wouldn't drive myself anywhere.

The fact that I keep struggling indicates that I've made progress.

I just wish it didn't make me want to crawl back into bed or self-medicate in unhealthy ways or shut off my mind.

It all makes me really tired.

P.S. I decided to publish this because I know I'm not the only one facing this kind of chaos. If you go through this too, you're not alone. If you know someone who suffers, maybe this will give you a little insight. Be gentle.

P.P.S. Also, I need you to know that I'm alright. Really.