This past Saturday's Six Words were about feeling that I'm at a crossroads. As most six word entries tend to be (unless you include further explanation), it's a bit cryptic. But I'm always amazed when one of the comments manages to say something that really resonates without having the slightest idea what's going on in my brain. Especially since I so seldom have any clue what's going on in my brain.
Though many sincerely wished me luck or peace or wisdom, Tonya said "Cate when I am in this kind of a situation I try to remember that even if I take the wrong road, I am moving forward. Good luck!"
I've had a real issue with moving forward. Moreso, I've had an issue with letting go. I have some fabulous new projects I want to work on but it's hard for me to let go of the obligations I feel to old projects. Even if I'm no longer passionate about them.
Like this blog at the moment. Look how long it's been since I blogged regularly here. But there was a time when this blog was my main outlet, my main saving grace. A lot has changed since that first post back in 2008. I still deal with anxiety and insecurity and family crap that I can't spout off about under my real name. But I've made some amazing friends over the past five years and I've also come up with some amazing coping mechanisms in that time. I've accepted who I am and found others who accept me for that as well.
In short, I've grown. I'm not the same person I was when I started this blog. Which is a very good thing. This blog is an action I took back then when I was at a crossroads.
Now I'm at another crossroads. Where will the next action take me? I don't know but it's time to find out. It's time, as Tonya said, to move forward.
This isn't "goodbye" - it's "indefinite pause" on weekday posts. No different from how it has been but more formal so I can take it off my to-do list and quit beating myself up about not writing here. I'm officially letting myself off the hook. I've paused before but this feels different somehow. A little bit like leaving your childhood home and heading out for college. Like I might be back, but I don't think it will feel the same.
I'm going to leave the light on, just in case.
P.S. Six Word Saturday, of course, will continue each week.
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