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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Choosing a path when at a crossroads: A sort of goodbye

This past Saturday's Six Words were about feeling that I'm at a crossroads. As most six word entries tend to be (unless you include further explanation), it's a bit cryptic. But I'm always amazed when one of the comments manages to say something that really resonates without having the slightest idea what's going on in my brain. Especially since I so seldom have any clue what's going on in my brain.

Though many sincerely wished me luck or peace or wisdom, Tonya said "Cate when I am in this kind of a situation I try to remember that even if I take the wrong road, I am moving forward. Good luck!"

I've had a real issue with moving forward. Moreso, I've had an issue with letting go. I have some fabulous new projects I want to work on but it's hard for me to let go of the obligations I feel to old projects. Even if I'm no longer passionate about them. 

Like this blog at the moment. Look how long it's been since I blogged regularly here. But there was a time when this blog was my main outlet, my main saving grace. A lot has changed since that first post back in 2008. I still deal with anxiety and insecurity and family crap that I can't spout off about under my real name. But I've made some amazing friends over the past five years and I've also come up with some amazing coping mechanisms in that time. I've accepted who I am and found others who accept me for that as well.

In short, I've grown. I'm not the same person I was when I started this blog. Which is a very good thing. This blog is an action I took back then when I was at a crossroads. 

Now I'm at another crossroads. Where will the next action take me? I don't know but it's time to find out. It's time, as Tonya said, to move forward. 

This isn't "goodbye" - it's "indefinite pause" on weekday posts. No different from how it has been but more formal so I can take it off my to-do list and quit beating myself up about not writing here. I'm officially letting myself off the hook. I've paused before but this feels different somehow. A little bit like leaving your childhood home and heading out for college. Like I might be back, but I don't think it will feel the same.

I'm going to leave the light on, just in case.

P.S. Six Word Saturday, of course, will continue each week. 

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't even know we could comment! I thought the 6WSs were thought provoking, in their own cryptic way.

OF COURSE, let go of the burden you have placed on yourself. the only person "demanding" your daily attention is you... give yourself what you need, and relax a bit. Find what drives you again, and come back when you're ready.

Accidentally Me said...

Bloggers often feel like they are obligated to write for others. Unless you are getting paid, it is entirely a self-benefiting luxury. Which means you should never do it one minute longer than you want to, or in a way that seems like work. So break, hiatus, end, whatever it may be...good luck with the things that this will let you do!!!

And if you want to come back every six months and write 5,000 words, well, it will still show up in my feed, so I'll see it:-)

Mim said...

Good luck to you and yes...keep the light on!

Tonya Jastad said...

I hope wherever your path takes you, you find the peace you are searching for and always know that you are not alone.

daphnepurpus said...

A courageous decision--all the best and please do keep the light on!

restlessjo said...

Tonya said it well. In almost 2 years of 6WS I've had almost no contact with you, Cate, for whatever reason of enabling Cookies or your stressed lifestyle. I can only wish you well.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Bless you, Cate — it's YOUR blog, and your life too, to organise as you wish. Good luck with the new directions!

Thank you for retaining Sx Word Saturdays, and for starting it in the first place. I discovered it fairly recently, and have already made some nice friends through participating.

xx to you.

soulbrush said...

I like the way you keep sturggling on. What I mean is you don't give up, you delve into everything to try to find a way forward and that's admirable- I often give up and head for the hills. So good luck and you will move forward, I know you will.

vivinfrance said...

Well done: firm decisions do seem to make life easier. My decision to ration my internet participation was forced upon me, and I'm floundering a bit, but I know that it'll all come out in the wash.
Love,
ViV

cessie said...

For some reason I get what you want to say even if I don't know you at all as I only participated in 6WS so far. But I am familiar with the crossroads theme too well and I agree with Tonya that every road is a moving forward. We learn and we grow. Good luck with your new crossroads: I'm sure you'll do fine!
And I will meet you soon enough at 6WS :)